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JUST WHERE I DO NOT KNOW.

There's a tree outside my window
I guess died many years ago
I imagine it was once beautiful
Shade, green grass below
It has a tiny cross carved in it
Just why, I do not know.

By day, its colours plain old grey
At night, ghostly white it glows
Some say it was hit by lightning
But there's no evidence that shows
On rainy days it saddens me
Just why, I do not know.

I asked about the cross
Neighbours said, they didn't know
One elderly lady said
The house is cursed you know
No one's ever stays there long
Just why, I do not know.

One day there was a man outside
Said, he lived here a long time ago
Told me about the cross
It was for her mother you know
His face lost all expression
Just why, I do not know.

She would sit and talk to her
She was only five, you know
The following day I poisoned it
So it's leaves would never grow
I only looked away for a minute
Just why, I do not know.

Ruby had bright red hair
Like her mothers you know
My wife wished it was blonde
But I thought it was beautiful though
One morning she never woke up
Just why, I do not know.

I visit every year, on this day
Hoping one day, Ruby will show
I don't believe in God anymore
But I do believe in hell, though
All that I loved is gone somewhere
Just where, I do not know.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

but I am just a little confused. The person suddenly changes sex in the middle of the piece! The rest of the poem is great!
I find nothing that I would change. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thanks Geezer. The poem is meant to be a little bit vague so the reader can interpret the way they want too. The first half is about the young woman who now lives in the house. The second half is about the old man who used to live there. His wife died and his young daughter disappeared / abducted. But it sort of leaves it open to that the girl now living in the house could be the missing daughter. It originally had a couple of more verses but I reduce it. Regards Chris.

author comment

like to see the rest of it, it might help to make the transition. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Hi Geezer, it just got two repetitive with all the, Just why, I do not knows, but I will try and work on it, I think you're right. I'm never 100% happy with poems I wright. Regards Chris.

author comment

worth working on. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I agree with Geez. I'd like to read more!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks Cat, I will work on it, regards Chris. Thanks for your help.

author comment
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