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Legacy

Legacy

you died,
having found
a false peace.
did winged angels
of silky down,
spirit you away
to softer lands
of brighter suns
where children play
and beech trees sway?
in your life of pain
you spread it around
to innocent places
it should not
have marred and sullied,
tiny blameless souls
whom you battered,
lashing out you bullied
your touch was a sting
reflecting and causing
lasting sorrow,
insidious scars
of poisoned lesions
wounds to color
a distant morrow.
yet when you lay dying
on crisp white sheets,
your grasp so cold
begging eyes did meet,
that of the lamb
of your loins.
you did slaughter
your third,
and youngest
unwanted daughter.
you in final breath,
did ask forgiveness
to be blessed.
she looked down at you
and in spirit
of generosity,
she lied as she thought
the obvious solution
was one of false absolution,
and so she lied giving peace
and a pitying touch.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I have finally forgiven myself for the biggest lie I ever told.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

our conversation on that point, and I am glad that you have done as you said you one day would. I see nothing that I would change. Excellent! ~ Hugs from the boys, ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I really stewed over this one. it took me awhile to get it right. if I say I am going to do something, you can bet on me to do it. (a lesson taught to me by my Dad) I'm very glad that you like it. I highly value your opinion. you are a good man.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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author comment

for your obvious delusions. LoL I appreciate your regards. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

constant (who did that long ago song (I Am Constant?)

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Sounds like a Hymn. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

It started out ("I am constant as the morning star") I'll go look it up/

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

The Climax Blues Band
I loved the tenor sax!

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

look it up, myself! Probably have heard it, just don't recognize it. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I think i know what this is about, and I sit here sobbing like a small child.

A heart-breaking masterpiece

Sigh, Brava

love you always Lil Sis xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

it took me quite a few tears to get here, too. now...I need to get to that place where I can forgive Her! maybe writing out the story of my life will help me do that. i am on page #25 thank you for your encouragement.

*Love & Hugs, Sis

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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