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Painting without color.
I once knew a writer
that wrote the way a painter
Who never used color would
With a green thumb for art
And a hunger for vibrant brushes
That were never washed
In fear that they may stain white
Like an untouched canvas
Sterile in the snow
Whose vivid shade of blue was felt
In every wistful stroke
Like a drizzling rain
Amid the spring
Lightly mourning in the mist
And the deepest flush of red
Stolen from the strawberry fields
Hinted in the mix
Light alight by the fiercest flame
That captured the sunlight’s gold
In delight
And made lemon trees look dull
In contrast
A moon against the darkest shadow
Rich and brilliant
against the forests’ green
And the envy
I was knew a painter
That never used color
Who created the loveliest rhymes
In season
Beneath the envious moon
With starry eyes
On starry nights
And never knew it was art
Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2022-03-06 09:36
At first...
I was confused with the premise of the whole poem, it was in reading the last eight or so lines, I finally understood what you were saying! Your first lines bring about the confusion. I think that it should be more like: I once knew a writer who wrote the way a painter uses colors. Point in fact; you use the painter's passion for not washing his brushes, because he feared that they would lose their vibrancy and stain the canvas white! BTW. the first of the last eight lines should be: "I [once] knew a painter". Otherwise, an excellent poem and one I think could win the contest! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Thepoetofnorwoo...
Sun, 2022-03-06 13:39
I wasn't sure about the
I wasn't sure about the wording of the first few lines either, thanks for your input on it! I really appreciate any feedback on how to keep improving :)
Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-03-06 09:43
hello,
I like and agree with Geez's thoughts, suggestions and critique. absolutely amazing. definitely a contender!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Thepoetofnorwoo...
Sun, 2022-03-06 13:40
Thank you, I wasn't sure
Thank you, I wasn't sure about submitting it but thanks for reading and replying!
lovedly
Sun, 2022-03-06 13:52
all d best
may u win
your maiden
CONTEST