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Flesh and bone.
I am made of flesh and bone
Blood drawn beneath the skin
And I have markings on my palms
From where I count my sins
I have lungs that can expand
Where oxygen is carried
And a mind that carries foolish plans
And a soul that can't be buried
I am made of flesh and bone
Beneath this eclipsed cloak
Yet, I feel it is engraved in me to feel alone
Among the rest of folk
Somewhere behind my fragile frame
Where the faded scars escape
Or flushed along the shower's drain
Is belonging that I can't trace
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Wrote this on a whim today so It's not perfect but I would love to have some feedback on it!
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Mon, 2022-02-28 09:24
hello poet,
the loneliness almost echos through this piece. it is hauntingly real! it reads like someone writing a suicide note. or at least a farewell letter. the end of the poem is shocking and made me want to call out, "NO DON'T!!!"
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Thepoetofnorwoo...
Mon, 2022-02-28 17:36
Hello,
In a way that really was the mood I intended to set. I'm glad It was able to evoke that emotion. Thanks!!
author commentCandlewitch
Tue, 2022-03-01 08:35
hello,
you really scared me. glad you are all right!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.