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CROW?

A crow coasts slowly overhead
chasing its shadow on the ground.
It's dull black wings totally spread
in a tattered sky without a sound.

Would that I could fly like him
higher, higher, higher still
until earth's details become dim
with no promises to fulfill.

Where , I wonder, might he be bound?
Is he carrying a soul to the other side
through some portal he has found
where all of those passed will abide?

Likely he's searching for a field
of recently harvested corn
hoping the waste there will yield
an easy meal this winter morn.

I watch until he fades away
then I flex my neck and blink
as a sudden wind makes tree tops sway.
After all it was just a crow....I think.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Carrying a should? Should be soul. Nice poem. Really enjoy the rhythm and rhyme

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

The typo strikes again . Thanks for the visit and eagle eye

author comment

I have seen this specter gliding over a damp, cold field off to who knows where; the early bird or the outcast, who flies over like a harbinger of a bad day. I think that rather than [dull] wings, I would make them black or maybe even dull black, and [fully] spread. The third [higher] just doesn't quite fit, I think that [higher and higher] makes the rhythm and meter better.

As per always, you bring a hidden world to light, where not many others tramp, fly and float. Thank you, ~ Geez.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

As always I appreciate your visit. I like the dull black idea but think I'm gonna keep the 3rd "higher" read it out loud and see what you think

author comment

before, but as I read it again, I finally found the right way to read it. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I wasn't imagining I had it right lol

author comment

could be blindish tho
eagles like me site all typos
Stan you know
long distance I fly
why like a black crow die
I love your poetry that's why
as you away from mine
fly

Thanks for taking time to visit. Alas the world has kept me away more than would be good

author comment

line 9 is grammatically incorrect also, let's see if you can find it.

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

Not nit picking at all. I found this line awkward from the start. But I think I got it fixed now

author comment

better than ever! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

This is why I review even my oldest scribblings, Often it reveals a better way to say something

author comment
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