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Four Chord Wonder

Plucking the strings her careful fingers
Mask the energy smoldering
Underneath her skin
She is wired and off somewhere in her head
She can’t speak
But she does sing
As the strings bend and twang
Like the wild trees swaying in tandem
To the side of the old grey house
Where inside a light green room
A sunburnt orange lamp flickers,
And the reel-to-reel tapes whir
Late into the night as her
Maple guitar makes the sounds
That give the colors in her head
The language they need
Leading them on to seed
The words, the melodies, the songs,
As they pour out like they do, a nourishment
Of sorts, for herself and
Then later
Friends, associates, her family, her past
Her present, her audience, her everything
She writes this way always after
Working her way
Through the pounding driving waves
She swims through every morning
The sea brine clinging to her skull
The salt feeding her and clearing out
Her mindscape, sweeping the debris away
The way it does, leaving her breathless
And blank
Until another song arrives
Tapping her on the shoulder

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
I think this poem is nearly done but still am in the phase of re-reading it until I'm sure. It's been edited many times so I'm at that point where I'm feeling like how much more can I edit this. Any thoughts as to what this poem feels like to you are welcomed, thanks!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I have always enjoyed the poetry about music, those are close to my heart. it's pretty difficult to write poetry that combines the wherewithal of music. you speak to the creative effort, and I infer that the muse of the gal protagonist is present in the piece as well. I won't suggest content, I like what is there. will only suggest the occasional period [line 6 after 'sing'][ line 23 after 'everything']. might be a good place for a stanza break as well in those places.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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for the feedback, it is much appreciated. I will work your suggestions into the piece.

Catherine

author comment

I have several times attempted to write about what music is…. And be poetic about it. Not so much with success…. Altho I gave it a great shot (IMHO). Maybe I didn’t have enough rhythm…. Or maybe It was out of tune somehow….

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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