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Femaelstrom...

Submitted by Geezer on Fri, 2021-11-19 13:04

A grey-green wall of water
Flecked with creamy-white
Moves with a growly, steady speed
Undetected through the stormy night

Drowning, smashing, crushing
Obliteration universal
Don't think that you are special
It's really nothing personal

Mother Nature is having a tantrum
She's about to cry
Her winds swirling in a circle
The calm is in her eye

She knows what she is doing
Hell hath no fury like her
A perfect storm is coming, dah'ling
You're in for it, for sure

But when it all is over
She's gonna be real sweet
The dawn will break so gorgeous
She'll throw treasure at your feet

So take my words for prediction
The waves glassy and dark green
I wouldn't want to be there
'Cause Mommy's looking mean

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Triskelion

Sat, 2021-11-20 15:07

Triskelion's picture
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I always enjoy reading your rhyming poems because it shows an effort that I can relate to.

Cheerio Mister!

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

Geezer

Sat, 2021-11-20 15:38

Geezer's picture
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I love rhyming, although I do write free form now and then. I feel like rhyming helps to make the story. Sometimes, it is hard not to rhyme; if I'm doing a workshop or something that requires no rhyming. It seems to help in keeping the rhythm going and in turn, the words flow. Glad you stopped by and I hope that you are inspired to write something. It's been a while since we've heard from you.~ Geez.
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Catherine DeGear

Sun, 2021-11-21 14:25

I liked the imagery in the poem, especially the bit about it not being personal...Mother Nature's throwing a tantrum and basically we are just in the way. Also liked the use of rhyming as it's not something I do at all.

Catherine

Geezer

Sun, 2021-11-21 14:50

Geezer's picture
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for stopping by. I'm glad that you liked the theme and the imagery. I very often have to stop myself, if I am writing a poem in a workshop that does not include rhyme! I can and do write free-verse, but it is not my preferred method. I hope that you will participate in the next workshop or contest that requires rhyme. It will expand your horizons. As with any form, it requires effort
and may not be great the first few times that you attempt it, but with practice you can acquire some degree of confidence. Welcome to Neo. I hope that your efforts here will be fruitful. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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