Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Unit of Measure
I’ve heard the human soul
weighs 21 grams or so
Not so in my experience!
All those I miss the most
weigh much heavier on me
My mind sees their souls
as impossible to lift some days,
because of the burden of their absence
Heavy lifting - as if 21 grams
were as I imagine it might weigh
in the dark heart of a crushing black hole
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Looking through a telescope the other night into the vastness of the stars, I was struck be a few emotions. Many of them seemed to center around my longing to see those I've lost over the years.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Sen99
Sun, 2021-10-10 04:46
Thanks for sharing
Very good, well crafted, concise poem. Interesting theme, imaginative ideas, nice work, hope to read
Michael Anthony
Fri, 2021-10-15 18:21
Thank you! Best
Thank you!
Best
Michael Anthony
Geezer
Sun, 2021-10-10 09:27
I often...
have thoughts such as yours after my eyes visit the [heavens], I think that it must be us, wondering where do those that have left this life actually go? I find your title to be well within the parameters of the poem, and the appeal of this story seems to be universal. We cannot conceive of someone that means so much to us, just dissolving into the cosmos leaving no trace.
Somber, but not particularly sad piece. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Michael Anthony
Fri, 2021-10-15 18:20
Thank you Geez! I always
Thank you Geez! I always appreciate the consistency of your visits, and the thoughts you share.
Cheers
Michael Anthony
cathy mccormick
Mon, 2021-10-11 01:37
nice write. and how true
nice write. and how true
Michael Anthony
Fri, 2021-10-15 18:19
Appreciate your comments -
Appreciate your comments - thank you Cathy.
Best
Michael Anthony
c lynn brooks
Tue, 2021-10-12 15:23
Michael
Your words could not ring more true,you would think 23grams almost weight ,oh but think again
Chrys
check out our chat room open to all 24/7
Michael Anthony
Fri, 2021-10-15 18:18
Yuup! Thanks CLB!
Yuup! Thanks CLB!
Michael Anthony
Simon
Fri, 2021-10-15 15:29
It's a piece
That brought me back from memory lane, because I always think about my dad for he left since when I was a child and I wander if there is another world he is living in maybe heaven. keep dropping by thanks.
Michael Anthony
Fri, 2021-10-15 18:18
Thank you Simon! Best
Thank you Simon!
Best
Michael Anthony
Triskelion
Sat, 2021-11-20 22:56
Hi Michael
This is a great comparison of two perspectives. I hope one day you realize the potential it has.
All the best.
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Michael Anthony
Fri, 2021-11-26 19:00
Appreciate your thoughts on
Appreciate your thoughts on this Tri, thank you!
Cheers
Michael Anthony