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I AM YOUR GOD

I am your God
Cause I sit on your heads
And smash your backs
And there is nothing anyone can do about it.

Your opinions are worthless to me
Your feelings are beneath my feet
I am still your president
I know what is good for you.

I am your God and your president
Who dare challenges me
Yesterday you cried for common whips
Today comes a red hot metal.

I am your president
I put democracy in my armpit
You dare not talk
You dare not become a meal for those beasts.

I am your president
I have seen your suffering
I have heard your cries
But I assure you that there's nothing we can do about it.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I cannot imagine a more timely piece of work for Democracy around the world! Even as Americans, we must be vigilant and not let a god of tyranny take over. We have seen the eye of the beast and it is everywhere! The power has been abdicated to those that will use it for their own and not the people's, by the people who are too lazy to accept their duty. I am sorry for your people, that they must face bullets and hate. If we are not careful. we will face them too; as evidenced by our own struggles.
I like your title, [it shows the reality] your language use is good and the pacing is too. The theme is one that should appeal to all. The beginning and ending are great! And yes, the logic is consistent. Overall, a very good poem! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

When a "democracy" came a knocking in Iraq and Lybia,
That turned out reeaally well, didn't it?

Arab spring has sprung
democracy is coming
kiss yer arse g'bye

( a Japanese bloke)

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