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A Beautiful Boy

Submitted by lovedly on Fri, 2021-08-13 23:10

On the beach within easy reach
all were enjoying a lovely son
even he was having fun ~~boy's dilemma

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Ray Whitaker

Sat, 2021-09-18 19:12

Ray Whitaker's picture

Could you be moving into a legnthy piece in three line form with this?

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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lovedly

Sat, 2021-09-18 22:53

lovedly's picture

this is abs imagery
a guy was simply surrounded by younger gals
wanting to buy lips sticks
or

perhaps negligees
this just struck my mind
what a lucky sweet guy

just maybe17 plus
more beautifuller than gals
enjoying aroma at their expense

lol

Ray do you fish

author comment

lovedly

Sat, 2021-09-18 22:57

lovedly's picture

On the beach within easy reach
all were enjoying a lovely son
even he was having fun ~~boy's dilemma

this is abs imagery
a guy was simply surrounded by younger gals
wanting to buy lips sticks

perhaps negligees
this just struck my mind
what a lucky sweet guy

maybe just 17 plus
beautifuller than all gals
enjoying aroma at their expense

author comment

Ray Whitaker

Sun, 2021-09-19 10:47

Ray Whitaker's picture

Not for years… however was a good fisher in my younger years. Eat ‘em tho…

I like the revision a lot!

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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lovedly

Sun, 2021-09-19 12:49

lovedly's picture

do read the refreshed

author comment
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