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I AM PROGRESS
I am progress, hide in fear
for nothing's safe which you hold dear.
Your hopes and plans your very life
I can ruin and fill with strife.
I dam the rivers, gouge the hills
don't hesitate at filling rills.
I make parking lots of farmers' fields.
Before Me all nature yields.
You think you're safe beyond my reach ?
Just hope you don't live on a beach
lest your home which took such toil
I can ruin with crude oil.
The only god that counts to me
is my one goal : to make money.
For money is the tool I use
to rape, plunder and abuse.
Behind the law you think you'll hide
with truth and justice on your side?
I own the courts and judges both
for neither of then money loath.
The Senate, House and small town hall?
I've bought and paid for both and all.
Your voice to them just doesn't count;
there's no resistance you can mount.
Some ancient tree with welcome shade
is gone if profit's to be made.
The forest full of game and deer
I buy and cut until they're clear.
So bid farewell to all you like,
the mountains where you love to hike,
the streams and ponds you love to fish
remain only if I wish.
I AM PROGRESS, worship me!
perhaps I'll choose to let you be...........
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Wed, 2021-09-08 07:33
Progress report...
I like the theme and the premise.
I have a couple of suggestions for you:
In the second line of the first stanza
I would change the word [which] to [that] it sounds
a little smoother to me.
You have a typo in the last line of the 5th
switch the [n] for an [m] in the word them.
Second line of the 6th stanza, seems stilted
maybe rewrite it to say: [I've bought and paid for them all]
I think that rather than try to keep the syllable-count close
or the same as the the others, you should let the line
follow the smoother, lesser amount of syllables.
The last two lines bring a focus to the whole thing and I like the way it ended.
~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Thu, 2021-09-09 10:28
Hi Gee
I'm running late but will address your eagle eye typos and suggestions later today
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