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NOT OF THIS WORLD (workshop final exercise)

Warm sun unnoticed
bathes me on this sylvan hill
as my mind wanders

here I am
Standing and ignoring you
it seems.
For I'm in my mind
elsewhere with my muse.

Maybe you see me looking up
watching contrails or geese
with an inaudible sigh.
Give me some tolerance please

Does it seem I only visit here
occasionally at random?
I'm checking on those whom I hold dear
and trying to write a poem or two.

For beyond these trails is my true home
where trees are tall and hills are steep,
the places where the wild things live
not among the human sheep.

So let me walk my wilding way
each day at least a little while
that world of green and mossy gray
which lends to me this quiet smile.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

that Haiku was supposed to be of a nature kind of theme, or are we using the Western, more modern version?
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

participant's poems have little to do with nature. But I am also gonna give your comment further thought and I might come up with an edit in either the main body of the poem or the Haiku part that will satisfy the traditional definition

author comment

if the edit is better

author comment

Better! Kind of a cross of Western and Eastern Haiku. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

when we're under the control power of inspiration i think we do not heed to any attention that would truncate the sweet dew of such creativity.
a muse is a personal encounter therefore it is dear to me. i prefer to receive all before diverting my attention elsewhere.
very apt and powerful

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

and thank you for your kind words

author comment

You're welcome
Neopoet family is still a hot bird. More strength to admin
Have a nice day

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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