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Tweaker
Let's play a guessing game,
When you met me, You felt ashamed!
Thinking you were the one to blame,
We became friends, and now your life can no longer be maintained.
I'll make you lie, I'll make you cheat,
I'll make you tell secrets you thought you could keep.
And because of me, you'll live in the streets,
Just trying to find more of me, not caring to eat.
You thought you were strong,
You thought you were invincible,
But, don't get it wrong, that shit was just fictional.
You were really just brittle.
I'll tear you apart little, by little,
But don't get it wrong, this will not tickle.
I am stronger than you, you under-estimated me,
I'n stronger than a pistol.
You'll do everything for me, to get more of me.
You shall see, one day you will realize saying "no" to me was the key.
Imma take everything from you, heart, life, family, and friends. I can gaurentee. You will be begging me...
Can you guess who I am yet?
My name is crystal meth!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
This was my first poem I wrote in the last 5 years. So keep in mind I'm still getting back into writing poetry again and need advice and opinions on how to improve my work.
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Explicit Content
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Comments
Michael Anthony
Sat, 2021-08-21 13:59
Strong effort here Rue. Thank
Strong effort here Rue. Thank you for sharing. I have lost a few to various addictions - some still with us but continue to be lost and wandering through their addictions, and some now on the other side. If this is from your own experiences I hope you have found the help you need if you are still struggling.
I wouldn't change anything here, but maybe correct the typo in S4 - L4 - S/B "I'm"
Best
Michael Anthony
Geezer
Tue, 2021-08-24 00:29
Welcome to Neo.!...
I think you may have the wrong idea of what we call explicit! Your poem doesn't come close! When you post an explicit piece
of work, it does not go to the main page [The Stream]; instead, it goes to your profile, so that the poets here do not have to read something truly offensive. We appreciate your attempt to comply with the rules and wish to congratulate you on posting your first poem here. So that others may enjoy and contemplate your work, please go to the bottom of the page your poem is posted on and readdress the level of content designation. click the level button and Not explicit content. I have a great amount of respect for those that can write about such situations and deal with it on such intimate terms. I see nothing that I would change at the moment. Maybe later. I look forward to seeing more of your work soon! ~ Geezer.
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