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Curves and Paint and Rain (v2.0)

I can’t touch the curve of a rainbow
or use its’ colors to paint
or count the rain until it stops

Don’t be silly

But my heart is a foolish thing sometimes
and it thinks: “All you have to do is try.
The first thing you must do is reach.”

I felt the tender hues of your curves
as I tossed my umbrella aside,
counting all the rain I could, without fear

With wet reflections all around us
awash in swirling, bouncing colors
we began painting from this palette
so many stories without end

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Last few words: 
Editing, editing, editing... a tweaked version of an earlier posted poem. Can't leave well enough alone I guess, LOL!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Yeah, its difficult to put some poems to bed so to speak, ( worth the effort isn't it )

I like the positivity of everything after the first stanza, its an uplifting poetic love poem,
though, the first stanza and "don't be silly' is somewhat of a downer telling me what you "can't" do.

Obi.

Thanks Obi! Among other things, I was trying to convey a journey from self-doubt to breaking the shackles of fear of failure at love, so a touch of "downer" seemed necessary. Thanks for the visit and for sharing your thoughts!

Best

Michael Anthony

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