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Stretching wings workshop (rhyming exercise)

a man thought he'd find some repose
boarding crows in his very large nose
but he's mad when they litter
for they don't have a shitter
he's bitter they shit on his toes
yes, his shoes are a mess
you could certainly guess
he’s depressed more or less and it shows
so it’s cleaned with a scraper
and wadded up paper
it's a caper of state that he knows
the offending affair
only lends to despair
people stare everywhere that he goes
he complains to the birds
"I AM COVERED IN TURDS!"
the poor man with the crows in his nose

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This poem employs internal rhyme as well. Loosely based on anapestic meter and the limerick form.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

It also has a mixed rhyme pattern which makes the rhyme a bit less obvious

I am interested in seeing how you transform this into another form. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Who said it would be Him doing the transformation?

now this is interesting.

who has the biggest nose?....lol

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

Nobby has a great big nose
a great big nose has he,
and nobby knows
that his big nose
is big, as big can be,
Nobby has two knobbly knees
two knobbly knees has he,
his knobbly knees
are as knobely
as knobbly knees can be,
don’t pity dear old nobby
for soon it’s plain to see,
that nobby has a great big knob
as big, as big as three !
now nobbys knob is knobly,
as knobly as a knob can be,
so nose and knee and knob
make three,
and we - are knob- ely.

Ol' Nobby went out on the town
and convinced a young tart to go down
but the bint cried in sobs,
"Oh My God, you've three knobs!"
"you're a hob or a clod or a clown!"

Thomas

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.

...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

I doff my cap to you, Sir.
Well played !

Obi.

gotta be somethin' there, c'mon, it's all fun.

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

Oh,,, God bless ya!

Obi.

use of an internal rhyme tying in in the previous end rhymes. Nice! I am going to have to find a way to try that.

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