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For when you've experienced heartbreak
When life distorts and pulls,
I have nobody else to see
that will hold only to me--
for all of me
The stars align in a new ornament
The moon whirls in a new way
Because of you,
I can make it through one more day
If you were to say to leave
I'd leave in slump
I'd give you some space,
just enough to breathe
If you were to say to jump,
I'd jump in a second
so the last thing I'd drink in
would be you
After I traverse the rivers of life,
I'll cloak myself in a storm
and weep tears of salt,
stolen from the sea
But you'll be there waiting for me,
standing on a shore of broken glass
Because your words evoke me to realize
It was but one leap
Because of you
I can breathe through my nose
My lungs struggle to hold air
I so desperately need
Because of you
The only thing I want is to let go
So that I may once again be able to reach
But do I live?
Do I take a breath?
Only to die?
Only to leap again?
Because today--
Today is a new day
But not without you
If only it were with you
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words:
I couldn't say I've experienced true heartbreak. If I have, I think I'm too young to realize it. I wrote this in the middle of the night after staring at the wall for what felt like an eternity. The words just came to me so I wrote them down. They don't have any meaning for me, at least not yet. It's not personal, but perhaps someday it will be.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2021-07-16 09:10
What can one say?...
If I thought you were serious about your poetry, I would try to encourage you, say some nice things. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Arrow
Fri, 2021-07-16 19:03
Themes
I would say the writing creates the appeal more than the theme. Heartbreak is a good theme, if you commit to it and write it well. Which brings me to Geezer . . . if you would like input on the quality of your writing, you may wish to change your profile and comments to encourage more input. Then, I think you will find people happy to provide you with constructive feedback.
scribbler
Sat, 2021-07-17 14:55
Hi Kat
Welcome to the asylum lol. This is a deeper poem than would be expected from a young person. Perhaps the wide open spaces where you live give one more of an introspective attitude? If you have any problems navigating the site just ask me or any other member for help....stan (scribbler)