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Kalon
spring lady beetles
destroy soft, sap-filled aphids-
faultless peach roses
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Ray Whitaker
Thu, 2021-06-03 09:02
Used to buy ladybugs from bug sellers
To keep the bad one at bay. Here in NC, there are so many bad bugs.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Geezer
Thu, 2021-06-03 12:12
Yes...
that last line is best. Not that the rest is bad; just that is the best! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Obadiah Grey
Thu, 2021-06-03 14:57
It works well.
It works well.
I'm with Mark, you don't need a dash.
Obi.
Arrow
Thu, 2021-06-03 15:47
Thanks all for stopping by
to see my roses. I agree with the removal of the dash. When in doubt, take it out! I also stole some alliteration from Geezer. Much appreciated everyone.
Arrow
Wed, 2021-06-16 21:55
Yes, I am indecisive about it . . .
the green makes it more visual, but I was originally going for soft sounds, "s", "ph". Dilemma!
Arrow
Wed, 2021-06-16 22:03
Yes, I am indecisive about it . . .
the green makes it more visual, but I was originally going for soft sounds, "s", "ph". Dilemma!
Geezer
Thu, 2021-06-17 08:45
How about...
[filled] instead of green? ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Arrow
Thu, 2021-06-17 15:52
Yes, I like that
stolen and bastardized. Thank you.
Geezer
Thu, 2021-06-17 17:29
Yer welcome...
my pleasure!
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Fri, 2021-07-02 08:48
Congrats on winning the contest.
Those cute little lady bugs are monsters to some other insects lol
Arrow
Fri, 2021-07-02 14:17
Kalon
Thank you. Actually, I thought I was quite done with this poem and it was by accident. I was reading a book: Reclaiming Beauty for the Good of the World and came across a discussion of the word and I thought "Perfect!" and popped it in.
Michael Anthony
Sat, 2021-07-03 14:15
Congrats on winning the
Congrats on winning the contest Arrow!
Cheers
Michael Anthony
Geezer
Sun, 2021-07-04 09:15
Congratulations!...
on winning the June contest! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Arrow
Sun, 2021-07-11 08:08
Thanks for the congratulations
all! I appreciate it.