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Kalon

spring lady beetles
destroy soft, sap-filled aphids-
faultless peach roses

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

To keep the bad one at bay. Here in NC, there are so many bad bugs.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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that last line is best. Not that the rest is bad; just that is the best! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

It works well.
I'm with Mark, you don't need a dash.

Obi.

to see my roses. I agree with the removal of the dash. When in doubt, take it out! I also stole some alliteration from Geezer. Much appreciated everyone.

author comment

the green makes it more visual, but I was originally going for soft sounds, "s", "ph". Dilemma!

author comment

the green makes it more visual, but I was originally going for soft sounds, "s", "ph". Dilemma!

author comment

[filled] instead of green? ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

stolen and bastardized. Thank you.

author comment

my pleasure!

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Those cute little lady bugs are monsters to some other insects lol

Thank you. Actually, I thought I was quite done with this poem and it was by accident. I was reading a book: Reclaiming Beauty for the Good of the World and came across a discussion of the word and I thought "Perfect!" and popped it in.

author comment

Congrats on winning the contest Arrow!

Cheers

Michael Anthony

on winning the June contest! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

all! I appreciate it.

author comment
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