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LITTLE AL

Alphonso won't be here today
to toss a ball come recess time
or run some wacky football play
while rapping some old TuPac rhyme

Alphonso won't be here today
in his desk come history class
his nervous legs won't twitch or sway
he won't give his teacher sass

His many places where he went
won't feel the tread of his big feet.
Someone older Had to vent.
Al's story ends now incomplete.

It was not some crooked cop
It was not some skin head white
that fired and made this young heart stop.
Alphonso's gone and it's not right.

Does it matter the gang member
as black as the gang clothes he wore
was high and might not even remember
his ricochet found Al looking out the door?
Alphonso won't be here no more.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Far too many young kids are being killed by black on black crime while we are all being diverted to only see the bi-racial murders
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

understand how frustrated with life these young men get, I feel that it also has to do with the way that society tells them through T.V. and movies; that when you have had enough of whatever aggravation, that it is alright to respond with violence.
Unfortunately, all too often, there are unintended consequences. I'm sure that if you asked the gang-member that shot
"Alphonso", he would express profound regret that someone other than his intended target was killed. I like the way you showed that "Al" was a person; one that people cared about, not just a "thing" that got in the way. The [tree] of his big feet?
I'm thinking that you meant [tread]. A sad, but all too often tragic, story. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

decided I was going to say something I didn't intend. appreciate the eagle eye. Thanks for the visit

author comment

rhyme and meter here as well as a relevant story.

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

Thank you. Something has to be done to push back against these gangs which are so responsible for the many black on black murders

author comment

Very good and poignant poem. Yes, crime is prevalent still, all over the world and in small neighborhoods, not just cities. I appreciate your taking up the issue of "black on black", seldom talked about. I think that any youths who have a poor, abandoned childhood turn to crime, no matter their color.
I have no nits, but just to say it makes me so sad.

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Once in a while I take on social issues. This time I sought to remind people of all the children being killed by gangs who apparently feel no remorse at their deaths

author comment
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