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haiku (spring contest)

old man's last hurrah
in yellow fields of laughter-
fresh tulip snow-cones!

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

me think of drinking dandelion wine from buttercups! Tulip snow-cones could be those frozen icy things you get from the ice cream man. Beautiful colors! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

It is not. I can't think of a word to put in L3 without disturbing the flow. I thought about it for a while now.

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

Dandelion wine...I had a friend when I was young whose father made different wines. He gave me a dusty bottle of that for a date I was going on. I think if he had known how nice it came out, he might have given me something else, (but then you could never tell with him) Thanks for waking that memory and thanks for reading.

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

most any one syllable color. Red, blue, white. [ Blue is the one I like. ]
~Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

me think a little broader. I think I'm happy with it now. Thanks Geezer

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

I like it better than my suggestion! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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