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Words are like the birds
Words are just like the birds.
They always flitter and fly
to ones ears
Then they
pick peck .
And try
to pry
an idea into
the world of why .
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Obadiah Grey
Fri, 2021-05-28 14:05
I like this, its brevity at
I like this, its brevity at its best.
Obi.
Edward nigma
Fri, 2021-05-28 15:23
Thank you
Thank you
Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.
Michael Anthony
Fri, 2021-05-28 19:25
I'm a fan of brevity in
I'm a fan of brevity in poetry - the challenge of saying so much with just enough words to deliver the message without clutter, while enhancing the impact of your writing vision. When using so few words it is very important to get them all right. I really like the message of your poem - well done!
Reading several of your published poems, and the comments about them, I would strongly suggest looking at their structure, and how they might benefit from the use of breaking your thoughts into separate stanzas. This can help guide the reader through your poem's journey more effectively. After all, we want to draw the reader into the world of our poem. Here is a good article on the subject:
https://poets.org/glossary/stanza
Here's an example incorporating stanzas using your words:
Words are just like the birds.
They always flitter and fly
to one's ears
They pick and peck
and try to pry an idea
into the world of why
Good stuff - keep writing!
Best
Michael Anthony
scribbler
Fri, 2021-05-28 22:21
Hello
" into the world of why" a most excellent ending
Geezer
Sat, 2021-05-29 05:40
Yes...
What they said! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Edward nigma
Sat, 2021-05-29 10:35
Thank you
I’ll try it takes a long time to get an idea because I have adhd and anxiety
Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.