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Secret Humor... [Narrative workshop]

"Hurry, hurry, get up it's late!"
How come it's so dark?
We changed the clocks, remember?

Get dressed, don't dawdle
Wash your face
Comb your hair

Pancakes and peanut butter
Tea, sweet and strong
Milk makes it smooth

The wind blows hard
It looks like rain
Put your collars up

Bye Mom, see you later at lunch
The school four blocks
Looking at later already

"Hey! Wait!"
What is it Mom?
"April Fool, it's Saturday!"

Frying bread dough
Filling them with jelly
Laughing at the joke

Reading tea leaves in the dregs
Wishes for happiness
Riches enough for us

I love you Mom...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
This is a poem that I have on the site already, but I was asked [as part of the workshop], to write a poem for the title. I made one little adjustment to it and I reposted it. [It wasn't really April Fool's day, but seeing that someone thought that my Mom had been forgetful, I decided to show more plainly, that it was a joke, just born of my mother's humor. Our family is known for our humor and we often play tricks on each other. This was a true incident! ~ Geez. .
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

LOL! I always hated setting the clocks backward and forward, etc. so many clocks in the house, too. by making this experience into a poem, you have lightened the load, so to speak. your memories as a child, make for great reading! it flows nicely and tells a true story at the same time. excellent work!

*hugs, Cat & eddy
-

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Like I said; I choose this poem for the title, not thinking that I would be asked to write a piece for it. I was interested in seeing what people would do with it. I knew that the subjects could and did run differently than the poem I wrote. It was very interesting to see how different people could imagine the subject under that title. I am hoping that in the near future, the powers that be, will eradicate the practice of turning the clocks back and forth. [It is a pain in the ass]. Thanks again, for the encouragement in writing of true stories about my younger days. ~ Gee.
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author comment

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez
ahhhhhhhhhhhh lovely humorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
don't me hammer
lol
today was APRIL FOOL'S DAY
don't relay

the laughter in your reply. Thank you for your read and comments. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Poem has taken back in the days and I'm now begining to understand some things as I remember them.
So very nice and cool one.

If I have brought some understanding to your childhood and your parents, I am glad. Laughter truly is a good medicine!
Thank you for your read and comments. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Reminiscent
of my motherhood days readying four children for school!
Sweet tone this one.

I'm finding everyone's lines and narratives somewhat short in structure, which has me wondering if I missed an instruction to keep writing a specific length.

Sharonlee Imageweaver

in length of the poem, but not in lines. The reason for keeping to a short, [but not too short poem] is to keep things flowing and make it easier for the instructor. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

This works well as a narrative poem , you got a shudder from me at pancakes and peanut butter lol. A warm loving humorous incident that leaves the reader with a smile.

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