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You and Us

Submitted by scooby on Tue, 2021-04-27 11:07

You throw me words like bullets, I try to deflect.
We speak the same language but with different dialects.
If I were a list, then all the boxes go unchecked.
You treat me like an object, like I'm something to collect.
Our interactions like oceans and I am here shipwrecked.
You say I shouldn't love you I say that's incorrect
You say I shouldn't love you and you start to disconnect
I know that we are bound to break, it's hard to accept
You choose not to remember and I choose not to forget.
I choose to love you as the one who stayed and never left.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
i will probably be posting about my love life for a while. if you have any corrections, or any words of advice to better my expression, please let me know, i can open to criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2021-04-27 17:43

Geezer's picture
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is the word I think you are thinking of in the first line is [deflect] not defect. I like the title, your language use is fine and the theme is what to expect when writing about romance. ~ Geezer.
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