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Cohabitation

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Sun, 2021-04-18 12:55

I remember the days, years ago,
of negotiating our terms of living together
Learning to navigate each other’s emotional maps

It was an awkward and exciting time
Nothing was too much to ask,
nothing too small to remember

Here we are now, in our days of gold,
trying to agree on what we want to plant in our garden,
or which book we should both read next

I’ll fall asleep tonight next to you
with hope and a chance to see my best friend again
In the dusty amber morning light
Filtered through windows
you asked me to clean weeks ago!

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

Couples living together is the MOST inexact art, to be sure. But it's also a bit of magic when you discover that you can do it reasonably well, and get it right much of the time, LOL! Anyway, that's what I was trying to capture here.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Candlewitch

Sun, 2021-04-18 13:02

hello,

I like your title, as well as the poem itself. I think it tells a story of give and take,which is what successful couples do. this flows very well. I liked the touch of humor at the end...made me *smile!

*hugs, Cat

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Michael Anthony

Tue, 2021-04-20 09:34

Thanks C! Glad this worked

Thanks C! Glad this worked for you. Appreciate your thoughts!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Gracy

Sun, 2021-04-18 15:12

Lovely poem about a couple.

Lovely poem about a couple. That's how one's parents usually kept together (infidelities were mostly overlooked).
The title, the flow and the theme appeal to me. No nits.
Enjoyed, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Michael Anthony

Tue, 2021-04-20 09:40

Hi Gracy! This one is more

Hi Gracy! This one is more autobiographical, so it's taken many years to gel into a poem. Sometimes I try to capture a moment, or maybe many decades. Poetry is always amazing in its' ability to compress or expand time.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Geezer

Sun, 2021-04-18 22:53

This actually...

is a reasonably accurate picture of what it is like to live with another human being that you care about. You share the space and the duties. Taking out the garbage, washing the dishes, etc. You forgive the failings of one another and forget your own duties now and then. Good write, not a thing I would change. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Michael Anthony

Tue, 2021-04-20 09:41