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Next Time I Take A Taxi... [Random Challenge 2]

Next time I take a taxi
I'll ask about my friends
I'll ask if this one, that one
Have come to employment's end?

Is Paul still driving Mondays
How about that skinny girl
You know that one named Marcy
How about old Earl?

I miss the same old faces
Some customers have died
There was that kid from rehab
He was always fried

I used to love to drive them
I liked the job just fine
I miss seeing those faces
Like to think they're missing mine

Thanks and say hello to Bobby
The dispatch of the day
Here's a couple for a tip
And I watch him drive away

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I hear the "missing" in your words. Lovely and nostalgic

Chrys

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it's not easy, giving up a job you really like and the friends that go with it. I also miss being out and about with a purpose. That job, gave me a reason to be out of the house. Now, because I don't have to be out, I use excuses like; it's cold or it's raining etc. But at least I have the memories. Thanks for reading and commenting. ~ Geez.
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author comment

u can call me
I'd love to drive with Gee
with glee
and
you and me
will drive now not in your taxi
but mine recovered car
we have to push it now and then GEE
But its okay I'm happy
they have taken my license from me
I gave it
not for mine
but their safety

to give up your license before you hurt someone. I know that there are many out there, that don't belong on the road. I see them when I am, [still] driving. I also see many younger folks out there, that should have their license taken away for the stupid stuff that they do. Lots of people don't take the time to drive carefully and there are lots of little things that they do, that can and do cause accidents. Like driving at dusk and dawn or in the rain with no lights on, in light colored cars such as silver or white. They say; "I can see just fine, I don't need my lights on", not realizing that other people can't see you so good. What about the guy who has been working all night and tired or the old person that their reaction time isn't as good as it used to be?
Not using turn signals, speeding, and using phones to text or talk on, cause many accidents. They think that because they can drive fast and have good cars that can stop quick, they are good drivers! As a friend of mine used to say; "They are accidents waiting to happen." Anyway, Thanks for stopping by and commenting. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

now open a driving school quickly
teach the younger ones
round the world
I have seen boys
will be boys
last place I stayed a couple of years ago
those kids didn't kill any
only 14 kids were killed
over speeding
Gee

Heylo. Nice poem - I like the nostalgia.
Thalassa could tell you what a GENIUS I am, and I s'pose I could ask her, but I'm just gonna throw this out there: not sure if this poem is talking 'bout a dude who drives a taxi or rides one?
Oh, and stanza 2's got great structure. (I mean, they're all great, but no. 2 kinda rings with me . . .)

-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____

Thalassa says "Hi". She seems to think I need a poem-group, so here's me. ;P

-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____

I used to drive a taxi. I drove taxi for six years. I thought that the fourth stanza said that. Maybe I could have been more explicit? Anyway, thanks for the read and comments and welcome to Neo. Thalassa is a great friend and poet; she isn't here as often as I would like, but I'll take as much of her here as I can get. The profile pic is one that I painted myself with black- light paints and photographed under black-light. If you click on it, it becomes larger and more detailed. ~Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Sounds fun. Bet you met some pretty interesting characters driving, eh? Nah, it's just my brain. At the beginning it sounds like your character dude is getting into a taxi, and then all of a sudden he's thinking about driving one. Prob'ly flashback?
Yeah, about Thalassa, she wanted me to tell you all that she's not actually writing poetry anymore, so she won't be around pretty much at all. Something about new career and all that - doesn't have time for poems. She's sorry and pretty sad about it, and she says she'll miss you all. If you want to keep talking with her and the like, she says you can pm me for her email (it's pretty much all she uses now).
Neat! Yeah, but when I click on the pic, I get your profile, and when I click on the pic in your profile, I get your profile again, so I guess that's not gonna work. But something 'bout the way you describe 'black light' and 'paint myself' makes it feel even creepier, which is awesome.

-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____

When you click on the picture, it should make it bigger and easier to see with more detail. I would definitely like to hear from her and keep in touch. She is a good poet and story-teller and I hope that whatever she does, she is a success. I will P.M. you and you can give me her e-mail. Thanks, ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

I remember that you drove a taxi :) but you are not just an extaxie driver but you are a helluva a guy who writes fantastic poetry! you have an amazing imagination and tecnique/writing style. please pardon my spelling and typos. I know, I'm terrible!

p.s.

in the last year I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and psoriatic arthritis. I haven't been here for awhile. eddy styx says "Hello" to you!

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

You make me blush! I am a big fan of yours too! I'm glad to see you here and posting and commenting. I hope to see a lot more of you. Love you too! Thank you for the glowing review. ~ Gee.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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