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IF I WERE NOT TO BE

After an audition I did see
everyone crying even me

Singing a song
for a dying daddy
and
he besides mommy
also weeping

Oh what a grave situation can it be
have you ever imagined
so let me see
I still here be

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

been as perceptive as Teddy, and might have thought that it was an actual funeral. Whatever. I did appreciate the fact that it was emotional. Nice job! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

May read please both versions
and apply the yardstick
of emotion

author comment

as a challenge
now posted neo permitted

author comment
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