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Internal Combustion

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Fri, 2021-03-26 20:16

Driving the old Mercury;
eight cylinders of relentless motion,
with windows down to the tempest
I feel every familiar mile on this highway

Searching my memory for a clue;
anything to explain the chasm of your absence
But I know that sometimes meaning, for us,
was a language we just could not master

The chrome-steel beast, unencumbered by doubt,
seeks only the next mile on the dark highway,
while I can’t tell a tear from the rain

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

Another poem with a car motif. Sheesh, some might think me a gearhead (which I am most certainly not!), but I do love vintage cars. Thank goodness for good mechanics, LOL!

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Michael Anthony

Sat, 2021-03-27 10:49

I don't know about genius T,

I don't know about genius T, but thank you, and glad you liked this one! I changed the title shortly after posting, so seems like a good move. Original title was "Chopped '49", but I felt that was a bit too gear-heady, and less connected to the feeling of this one.

Sorry to hear about the covid stuff in Tuscany - please be safe!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Geezer

Sat, 2021-03-27 08:34

I felt...

a deep, emotional connection with this one. I too, have owned those big, heavy, eight-cylinder cars and kind of miss them. The tears in the rain is the best line of the poem. Your title is great, and being kind of a gear-head, it drew me in. Nice work! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Michael Anthony

Sat, 2021-03-27 10:50

Always appreciate your visits

Always appreciate your visits Geez! See my comments to T about the title - glad I changed it.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Gracy

Sat, 2021-03-27 17:04

Hi Anthony, I'm not an expert

Hi Anthony, I'm not an expert on vintage cars, but I love to see them, mostly in movies. Your poem brings it all close and clear to me. I agree that not telling a tear from the rain is the best line.
The new title is excellent, the spacing is perfect IMO and the internal logic as well.
Enjoyed, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Michael Anthony

Mon, 2021-03-29 10:35

Hi Gracy! I'm no expert

Hi Gracy! I'm no expert either, but like you, I love to see them too. Thanks for the time, and sharing your thoughts on this piece - always much appreciated!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Neopoet

Internal Combustion