I try

try to get rid of you

try to forget you

try to hate you

try to no longer love you

try to care

try to find a silver lining but i cant no matter how much i try i cant

i blocked you in the past

lost sleep

didn't eat

didnt feel

i was numb

sad

low

you brought me a lot of happiness

a lot of strife

alot of pain

i lost sleep thinking about what was i doing wrong

i thought i loved you

did i?

Did I ever?

Did you ever?

Did i fall in love with the persona you put on for me or did i fall in love with the real you

i was so hurt from the past that when you came into my life i didn't realise you were toxic

i always blamed myself

you made it seem like it was me

that morning i woke up after me and you fell asleep together you were gone

i looked for you but you weren't there

went to text you but you weren't there

did i imagine it all

no you left

left me alone

wondering what did i do

what i said

i messaged you asking you not to let go

you said you didn't want to

but you did

you changed your mind

you came back

i said let's forget about what happened

then i tried to let go

cut you out of my life

but i came back

you said you were sad

that you missed me

but that was a lie

i was a pawn

i still am

i'm still here

cause no matter how much i try to detach you from my mind i keep coming back to you

keep on thinking about you

keep thinking it could get better

keep thinking you'll one day say you love me and mean it

keep thinking your the one for me

but i think your not

but i'm still here

still on the call

still wrapped around your finger tips

still trying

am i a sucker

yes

but can i stop probably not

i detached myself from reality

detached myself from the truth.