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Guests, of a Sort
I wake up to find
a few aches and pains
have followed me into the new day;
a stiff joint, an odd discomfort,
from origins unknown
I try to connect the unwanted guests
with, perhaps, foolish exertions
from the day before
that may have caused them
Still, I am grateful
for the parts of my body,
entities really, as I have come to know them,
that give me no trouble this day
Thankful that they allow me to be here
to see you again in morning’s early light
and find the blue in your eyes
that always welcomes me there
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Woke up the other day with some aches and pains, but wanted to focus on my gratitude for all the better things I have. This seemed to capture my feelings, but would be interested in your thoughts on this popular topic, whether written about or not, among our middle aged colleagues, lol!
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Lavender
Tue, 2021-02-16 10:50
Guests, of a Sort
Hi, Michael,
What a magic pen you have! When reading this, I immediately could relate and felt the generous humor. And then, when reading on, I felt the gentleness and gratitude. With a little change in its first line, your last stanza could be a poem itself - so beautiful!
Thank you!
L
Michael Anthony
Wed, 2021-02-17 12:18
So kind, and glad you enjoyed
So kind, and glad you enjoyed this piece L! I really liked your suggestion about the last stanza, so maybe something like this:
I wake up thankful to be here
to see you again in morning’s early light
and find the blue in your eyes
that always welcomes me there
Thanks for the visit and inspiration!
Best
Michael Anthony
Lavender
Wed, 2021-02-17 12:38
Hello, Michael
Breathtaking...
L
Michael Anthony
Wed, 2021-02-17 12:19
46 is close enough for this
46 is close enough for this club Teddy, LOL! Glad you like this one, and your thoughts are always appreciated - be well!
Best
Michael Anthony
Arrow
Tue, 2021-02-16 11:39
A good reminder
This reminds me of a skill I learned in a meditation group - to acknowledge and welcome these kinds of pains so as not to add suffering to the original pain. There was probably something more nuanced to the skill that I've forgotten. I'd suggest that if you're going to commit to gratitude you leave the title simply as "Guests."
Michael Anthony
Wed, 2021-02-17 12:26
Thanks for the visit Arrow! I
Thanks for the visit Arrow! I have never been one to welcome pain, in any of its forms. Perhaps a failing in my personal development. However, I have always valued and understood pain as an impetus for creativity. It's a wellspring I tap into often.
Best
Michael Anthony
Geezer
Tue, 2021-02-16 14:31
This could be...
said to be a Valentine's Day poem to your body as you look into the mirror! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Michael Anthony
Wed, 2021-02-17 12:22
Thanks Geez, I like this
Thanks Geez, I like this thought. Mirrors always tell the truth, but the trick is for us to see it through our eyes. Thank you for taking the time, and I hope to join you on one of your Saturday Neopoet gigs soon.
Best
Michael Anthony