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I Recall All

I just composed a poem
in my mind it said
rather asked those gone
to eternal homes
to finally rest

what they now think of my poems
the ones they never read.
All spoke in unison
from different corners of the wilderness
in harmonic al chorus
out of all folks
you still are the best

you still remember
the ones murmuring in heaven
silently at peaceful rest

we miss thee
come soonest
we love someone among us
from our last heaven
Earth

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
O what an imagery I wish to know whether you have ever thought of those NEO'S And like Shakespeare new words I too compose
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I like it, so contemplating...

I would do something about the beginning, tho. Somehow, perhaps a more ethereal input?

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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can you suggest some views like

THOSE Ghosts
scaring smiles
with looming dark sunken eyes
want to say something
now viciously sly ,,.....
lol

author comment

Your form is what I’m commenting on. You could have uniform two line stanza, then a three line, then a five line, and then continue the 2-3-5 stanza lines that are already there.

If you separate the second stanza, to have only theee lines, and put the remaining two lines onto the next stanza, then that would make The difference.

rather asked those gone
to eternal homes
to finally rest

what they now think of my poems
the ones they never read.
All spoke in unison
from different corners of the wilderness
in harmonical chorus

And a question... “harmonical”??? Is that a word?

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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RW I am a non-conventional poet
freer open verser
add newer words as a
thesaurus creator
lol

author comment
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