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Reflection on the Moon’s Journey

Submitted by VanRyan on Wed, 2021-01-20 16:34

Moon, in your silence,
you wander
high above my troubled life.

Wish that I, too,
could hide
behind the clouds,
conceal myself
from all.

Jealously, my eyes
follow
your own untroubled
journey,
and I wish that
my own path
should be
as unencumbered
as the one you tread.

What?—
He who would travel
happily
must travel light,
you say?
Not with this,
my constant burden.
Here, see the lines
of sorrow on my face?

But you smile
and wink,
and now you coldly
say: “Happy is

who can forget
the past that
can’t be changed.”

Must I hang
my brighter memories
in the darkest
closet of the night?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2021-01-20 19:54

Geezer's picture
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hang those brightest memories in the dark closet to illuminate it. Let the light shine, Bro! Let it shine. To the moon, and around the dark-side; where we can't see. I think maybe you might use another word, rather than [untroubled] like [simple] just that it's so close to troubled. Not a whole lot of difference, I suppose; but just something to think about. Nicely done, ~ Geez.
.

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VanRyan

Thu, 2021-01-21 08:53

VanRyan's picture

nice to see your comment, and perhaps I will make some other changes besides the one you have suggested. Thank you for reading; it's always good to know that your keen eyes are perusing ones work. Thank you, sir. Jerry

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