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mental health
I’m not mental,
just a little confused.
Before you start the bullying,
THINK, I might have been abused.
You don't know my background,
your life has been smooth.
Before you start the pity,
I’m just as good as you.
I’m not being moody.
I’m certainly not acting mad.
I was brought up to be kind,
the best parents a child could have.
When I see darkness, you see light.
I see sorrow and you see joy.
You see a future,
and I just plod along.
I need help mother,
it's sharp. Everything's gone dark.
Everything seems hopeless,
and my world's falling apart.
Like you know, I don't feel,
a part of what other people do.
I need a friend,
but I want to be alone too.
It's a cry for help.
It's not sympathy I crave.
There’s a big black cloud,
on my very worst days.
I kick and I scream.
fight for all my worth,
I hurt the ones that I love best,
who have given me the earth.
Yes, I have cried so many tears.
Yes, I have lost so many friends.
caused so much heartache,
but now iv made amends.
You should look at me now,
clean-shaven. brand new shoes,
I'm now looking to the future,
it was MIND that helped me through.
There is light at the end of the tunnel,
if you could only reach out.
There are people out there to listen,
to things, you want to talk about.
So if you're out there feeling lonely,
and are reading these lines,
muster all your courage,
please get in touch with MIND.
Comments
Ray Whitaker
Sun, 2020-12-13 10:52
Welcome to the site!
Nice piece, full of angst.
Are you sure there’s not TWO poems in it?
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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coldplayfan
Mon, 2020-12-14 16:47
thanks
thank you ray
Geezer
Sun, 2020-12-13 13:02
A long one sure...
but I'm not certain that it should be two. I am wondering if the use of MIND is not just more than two-fold and has a third meaning? Your word use is fine, but you have a typo, [iv] [should be I've]. Your rhythm is a little bit shakey, but nothing that can't be fixed. The poem seems logical and flows well from beginning to end. The near ryhme is good, but it could use a bit more true rhyme. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
coldplayfan
Sun, 2020-12-13 13:07
thanks
hi, yea mind is mind mental health services/apologies for the typo I tend to rush.to keen.
Geezer
Sun, 2020-12-13 13:17
Typos aren't...
that big of a deal. We just mention them to help out. We are a bit of relaxed here and once you get to know us, I'm sure that you will find the site to your liking. We try to be helpful and give you the benefit of our, in some cases, years of writing. Take the advice and apply it to your work, but don't feel that you have to use everything and use what feels best for you. Again, welcome to Neo. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
coldplayfan
Mon, 2020-12-14 16:46
thanks
thank you geezer appreciated
coldplayfan
Mon, 2020-12-14 16:45
thanks
thank you very much teddy and nice to meet you
lovedly
Sun, 2020-12-13 14:28
I'm a small fry but to teach poets here I do try
Firstly your first poem is too longly
max lines must be12 to 19 ////else it becomes epicurial
many skip ....all mostly want to be read here me too
next why mind etc in CAPS doesn't add a bit
next all are abused at youth ....no shame tell guys to take care .
the best poets of neo have spelt
I've just added as I felt
ALL URS pal
coldplayfan
Thu, 2020-12-17 14:10
thanks
thank you for your lovely comment