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The Passing Star (an opus one)

You wander as a passing star
high above, beyond all earthly care;
I knew you in our younger days
when we were lovers, long ago.

In the park, beneath shade trees,
the golden daffodils once bloomed,
but that was many years in the past,

and they no longer sway and bow
in a warming summer breeze. Autumn's
chilly winds took their bloom and scent,

and now, Death’s even colder hand
took away your breath and clutched
your slowly beating--and then silent heart.

Review Request (Intensity): 
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What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
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Comments

and poignant. Your language use is clear and you pass from the memory of summer's daffodils, to the chill wind of Autumn effortlessly, with the end result of death being no surprise. I'm not thrilled with your title, but have no suggestions as of now.~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I will look into a different title. Thanks.

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