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Addiction of choice
So called decision
Or is it hidden as gamble addiction
Role that dice decide away
At the mercy of a single answer
You against you
Or choice vs outcome
They say it’s luck some say wisdom
None the less I believe
Your choice determines the outcome
Or shall I say rolling the outcome
For surely it is like a game
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
OK I’m really proud of this but I’m not sure about my grammar and if it doesn’t really make sense to you I can understand that because it was just a thought that I was having and I thought that your decision is What’s going to predict The outcome and sometimes you won’t know the outcome so it’s really under the mercy of a single answer so I really try my best to put that together and try and make it make sense so I hope you liked it please feel free to leave any suggestions/criticisms and I’ll put it into my next work Bye
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Sat, 2020-11-14 18:00
I am...
not quite sure of your intent here. I'm thinking that you are saying that the answer you get from the reader is going to determine your fate as a poet. I feel that your work has some merit, but you have to work at it, if you want to make something of it. Of course, if you don't write in a manner that appeals to the reader, you won't get the feedback you need. Here, we give everyone the chance to show what they can do and try to help them reach the readers that they aim for, You have to try and let us know what kind of thoughts are in your head, so we can help you get them across to the reader. Of course, you have a great deal to do with your outcome. If you think that you will probably fail, then you most likely will. Don't fail before you try. Good luck in your endeavors. ~ Geezer.
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Gracy
Sun, 2020-11-22 15:26
Hello, I agree with Geezer. I
Hello, I agree with Geezer. I'm not quite sure of your meaning in this poem. Maybe if you work on it a little it will become clearer. I also think that you must try as many times as possible before giving up. You have a lot of potential,
best of luck, Gracy
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