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She's Not My Loss
she said no,
to something she doesn't know
she thinks i'm not worth her cost
whew! she's not my loss...
she didn't believe me
she even disliked me
she's blind to see my angel cause
hell! she's not my loss...
she told me to go away,
sure! i'll never stay..!!
love's hard to find when it's out and lost,
after all, she's not my loss...
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-02-14 11:30
Hello,
The title is good and I like that it is included in the poem at the end of each verse. Your language usage is good. You have given a new look to the subject matter. It is something that is easily related to. My favorite lines are:
love's hard to find when it's out and lost,
after all, she's not my loss...
always, Cat
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