Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Pain

I met some good ones,
I met some bad ones,
My business is all about the deal,
Pain in my body I can feel but I don't feel
Pain in my body I can feel but I don't feel…

She used to say that I want to live with you,
I want to die with you,
She said to me you're the love of my life,
She has thrown me out of her heart,
It feels like someone's thrown salt on my painful life,
Her love was fake to me,
Nobody can heal it for me,
She left me like a truck with no wheels,
Pain in my body I can feel but I don't feel
Pain in my body I can feel but I don't feel…

I brought Bentley for her,
She didn't like it,
She left Bentley for Lamborghini,
Doesn't matter if I haven't got Lamborghini,
But we don't ditch anyone for cars "Ginger Ginny",
I loved you a lot like Aladdin loves Jinni,
You broke my heart and left me behind,
I was the only one, who wanted you to make my wife,
Now you left me nothing except pain,
My heart is feeling your given pain,
But still, I say pain in my body I can feel but I don't feel
Pain in my body I can feel but I don't feel…

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
I want to stop but I can't stop thinking about her, all I remember once she gave me lots of pain. I hope you will enjoy it.
Editing stage: 
Contest: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Blood, Sweat, and Tears, from1968 said it almost a good as you did...

“there’s been some women in my life, yeah-yeah
You could say I’ve known my share
Some of them cried for me, some of them just didn’t care
Some of then been hard on me, tore me up deep inside
Some of them been good to me, some of them never even tried”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.