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WINTER SPORTS '81 (MIXED DOUBLES)

WINTER SPORTS '81 (MIXED DOUBLES)

Don't you fall in love with me:
However flattering that might be,
I know it is not what you are looking for-
Experiences dead, have blown dreams out of your head,
And, like a drowning man, you're clutching at a straw...

So, you use your education
To summon every ounce of tact-
Does your new preoccupation bring you joy?
Am I pleasant artifiction, or just some mental artifact:
Do you want a man, do you need a boy?

Are you looking for a father?
Are you looking for a son?
Do you want to just relive a love you've lost?
Are you looking for a lover
Who could just be anyone
Who pays the cost?
Who pays the cost?

So, you use your education
To summon every ounce of tact-
Does your new preoccupation bring you joy?
Am I pleasant artifiction, or just a mental artifact:
Do you want a man, do you need a boy?

Don't you fall in love with me:
However flattering that might be ,
I know it is not what you are looking for...
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If you'd like to hear the sung version, simply click on the link below:
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=7872506
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Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thank you for taking the time to read and listen.

Glad you enjoyed this one, even though you found the music too serious for the lyric... and perhaps too slow.
That is an interesting point of view as the lyric itself wasn't intended to be particularly... light.

Why "Winter Sports"? Because of the time of year of the events that caused me to write this, I guess.

Or perhaps because I was young enough at the time to perceive what was happening, as such...

Psyve

author comment

I;m not even going to listen to the song. I want to work with you on your poetry, you have the talent.

Am I pleasant artifiction, or just some mental artifact: [artifiction is not a word. affectation? affliction?]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I am aware that "Artifiction" is not a real word.

I have often used "invented" words in my song lyrics... but usually for a reason: This one, "Artifiction" was just a bit of playfullness connected to the last word in the next line : "Artifact"

Fiction - Fact.

I definitely wasn't merely unsuccessfully looking for another word like Affectation or Affliction here...

Hope that explains the choice.

Thank you for taking the time to read this one and comment.

Psyve

author comment

Thanks for the read.
Glad you liked it.
Look forward to your thoughts on the music, as and when you get your speakers up and running....

Psyve

author comment

Psyve, I absolutely adore (yes, I said the *A* word) this song and poem. Every word is perfect and yes, I think women are blind to what they are seeking in a man.

However, I could fall in love with you as a singer, songwriter, poet and musician, then where would we be? LOL!.

Seriously, I'd love to compose a song with you. Some years back, I was good friends with Larry Epstein, also a singer/songwriter/musician/poet/mystic/activist/artist but he died suddenly before we wrote a song together. However, we wrote some good poetry back and forth and he painted some pictures to accompany my poems.

I've never written lyrics, but would love to try; this song inspired me.

www.epston.com

~A

p.s. I forgot to mention Larry was a teacher... he worked with the *worst* school system full of inner city children: impoverished and often no one cared for any of them; it was his choice. He read poetry to them at times and taught them to how to... talked with them. Loved them.

First of all thank you for your very kind words about this song: glad you liked both the lyric and the music.

Went to the link you sent me on Larry and tried to get to his music there but could not hear the music.
Will try again later with another google search.

He sounds like he was a very interesting person. Interesting that he was apparently an architect too and seemed to enjoy composing music, painting, writing... and from what you write in your post script, was an altruistic man and a teacher.

I'm afraid my own skills are somewht more pedestrian and humble.

Meanwhile I'm working at becoming a better musician ... well I can't call it WORKING actually, its too much like fun, but I enjoy banging away at my piano / keyboard.... bum notes et al.

Thank you again for your support and for your patience in listening to my songs.

Psyve

"Don't you fall in love with me:
However flattering that might be,
I know it is not what you are looking for...."

author comment

p.s.

When you are no longer using that line for your signature, I'd like to quote it...let me *borrow* it.
Though it is somehow a stumbler. I keep wanting to write : "It ain't me babe, it ain't me you're looking for....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hESjwIyEgs&feature=fvst

;-)

"It Aint Me, Babe" was one of my favourites of Dylan's songs and one I sang and played a lot back in the mid '70s.

Go away from my window
Leave at your own chosen speed
I'm not thr one you want, babe
I am not the one you need...

Hmmm...
Thank you for that memory.

As regards your indication that my song has inspired you to write a lyric... I am honoured and and would love to read the outcome or assist in any way I can. Let me know by PM how this progresses.

Psyve

author comment

Thank you for listening and responding.
I am pleased you liked this one.
Psyve

author comment
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