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Do Not Run ...( reviewed Ma'am)
Stand don't run Time none can ever beat
how so ever fast you try to perform a feat
Time alone is the only marathoner
all have to pace in time in every race
lagging from far very far behind
it waits not for a millionth of a whiff
then why run stand firm but don't be stiff
no amount of penetration time alone has a spin
none can ever on another human collar pin
so why run stand still wait for Jill
she's just gone up the hill but it will her squeeze
the moment she does sneeze in the chilly breeze
so don't run stand still
let it do its very own thing
as life and death only timely begin
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Gracy
Thu, 2020-09-10 15:47
Hi lovedly, nice poem with
Hi lovedly, nice poem with good advice, philosophical. I think it's more for kids in high school than for grown ups, but never mind me. No offense meant, it's what I think. I would also join up some lines, as usual. A poem should fit in the screen so that the reader doesn't have to scroll up and down to get the whole of it. You have some doubtful grammatical verses.
I'll return with more time, all the best, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
scribbler
Thu, 2020-09-10 20:41
Hi loved
Yes time awaits no man but we can all Try to be the stone that diverts it a bit.
lovedly
Thu, 2020-09-10 22:04
as u say stan
time has and can have no obstruction
it will pierce or jump over
side line it may
till stones give way
if you mean
stones are not hills
but silly we
then scribble ur views please
stan you alone are neos
STRONGeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssstttt
man