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Battle-born

Submitted by Candlewitch on Thu, 2020-09-03 09:19

a babe of flesh and blood,
he was born not of mortal woman
but to Kira, a fallen valkyrie.
for instead of escorting
his slain sire to Valhalla
she took him ahead a few short years,
in his own time and bore him a healthy son.
the son he was never to know,
for a new battle carried him far away.
Kira having been stripped of her powers,
could do naught but watch as her warrior died and was laid to earth.
she brought flowers to Odin's temple,
whispering prayers and offering precious tears to the Norse shrine.
her pleas fell upon deaf ears,
forever barred from Valhalla was Kira's warrior lover.
She set aside her sorrow and took the baby Rogar to her breast.
Nursing and cradling him in her arms,
she vowed to instruct him in the true ways of war.
In keeping her promise, as soon as he could walk and talk, she employed the best instructors
to be found within the region. They, in turn, found Rogar to be somber and serious student with a quick mind.
He trained both his body and his mind, growing muscular and tall.
He learned honor, valor, and how to use his power and prowess with discretion.
He learned to be an honorable soldier, and therefor an honorable man.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Thu, 2020-09-03 10:03

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"Born For Battle". Your language is great and reflects the somber theme of your prose. It flowed well and I followed it through easily. An "honorable soldier" is something that many people do not believe exists. I do think that there are and have been many and that there always will be. I know that people will say, that someday there will be no need for soldiers, because we will not wage war any longer; but there will always be those that want to "Rule the world" and by that, I mean that some people think that the only way that the world will be "right" is by doing it their way. And what of other races that may come from the reaches of the universe? Just because they have developed the technology to bridge the gap between our galaxy and theirs, does not mean that they will be peaceful. Look at us! We have developed the Atomic Bomb and plumbed the depths of our DNA and yet we have not renounced war. I do believe that we will always have "honorable" men that care about the world and protect it the best they can. Thank you for your story. ~ Gee.
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Candlewitch

Sun, 2020-09-06 13:41

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I thank you sincerely for your in depth comment! I'm so glad that you enjoyed my little departure from my normal fare! I do so wish that wars would become a thing of the past (sigh) but as long as we have greed for wealth and power we will have the bloody warmongers creating the need for soldiers. I feel safe and secure knowing that there are honorable men (and women) protecting us.

*hugs, Cat

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author comment

Candlewitch

Sun, 2020-09-06 13:54

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I love Norse mythology and i'm glad to read that you are no stranger to it. my husband has his roots in Danish and (mostly) Germanic. (he is third generation) and I surprised him with the venture. happy listening to the wonderful music and may it stir your soul!

*hugs, Cat

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When someone reads your work
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author comment

Candlewitch

Sun, 2020-09-06 13:59

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how are you? so good to see you! I'm glad to find that I have tantalized your mythology taste-buds! thank you for reading and responding,

*big hugs, Cat

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And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

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Gracy

Fri, 2020-09-04 09:42

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Dear Cat, a powerful prose poem. When I was a child, my parents gave me The Tales from the Eddas, so I got the basics of Norse beliefs. Recently, I followed the series The Vikings on Netflix, then looked up the history on Wikepedia! I greatly admire the valiant Norse men and women. Whilst in England, I visited the tunnels excavated in the city of York. We were taken in a boat and there were real people in a village and lots of information and sculptures.
The valiant Ragnar was killed by being tortured and then thrown into a snake pit...the series is very long, well filmed.
Your title, content and spacing are fine. No nits.
Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Candlewitch

Sun, 2020-09-06 14:05

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Wow! you have a well-rounded history, background and education! I think it would be a wonderful thing to knock on your door for some tea and thrilling conversation! thanks for such an interesting and informative comment!

*big hugs, Cat

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Unsub

Sat, 2020-09-19 11:47

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Your love of fantasy & possibly that PS4 gamne you love has clearly allowed your imagination to run wild & create such a vivid & stark piece that flows from beginning to end.

Styx would be proud.

Unsub.

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