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Lament for a Classmate
I knew you when you were a child,
I don’t recall you,
Although I tried,
Were you sweet while I was wild?
The precious pet
Of the classroom kind,
An image of a smiling child,
I beheld your face,
Like my soul sighed,
I knew you when you were a child,
I don’t recall you,
Although I tried.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Region & Country
London Metropolitan Area.
Favorite Poets
William Shakespeare, John Keats, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Percy Bysshe Shelley, Oscar Wilde, John Berryman.
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Comments
Gracy
Tue, 2020-09-01 11:06
Hi Carl, what a sad and sweet
Hi Carl, what a sad and sweet poem for a lost childhood friend. The title is perfect, the content is crystal clear and the spacing is perfect. It would do for a lovely song, it even has the repetition at the end. Is this a form I don't know of?
I sometimes remember lost loved ones more by photos than their real faces. The faces are just glimpses, now and then, of somebody in a crowd who might resemble them.
Hope you bring on more, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
Carl Halling
Tue, 2020-09-01 14:42
Thank you, Gracy...
I'm so pleased you like this piece composed in reminiscence of a recently passed childhood friend, captured in an ancient photograph, and you are spot on, it originally existed as a song. I have a habit of repeating the first verse at the end, and notice this short piece might benefit from having that final repeated verse removed. I'm not sure of the form; other than free verse. More to come...bye for now. Carl.
author commentGeezer
Tue, 2020-09-01 15:18
Leave it...
just the way it is. The repeating of the ending lines is a nice touch, almost as if the apology is a little bewildered. Pardon my saying so, but reminicent of a aged elder with a failing memory Nice work. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Carl Halling
Tue, 2020-09-01 17:40
I will...
I tried taking it out, but it didn't work. Aged elder is fine...whatever works. But I agree with you, I'll leave it, thanks, Geezer.
author commentCarl Halling
Sun, 2020-09-06 10:41
So true, Teddy
One of the blessings of increasing age is appreciating these things we once neglected in our mad headlong rush to experience life at its fullest, too late of course, but at least we have that chance.
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