Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Hora incognita

"I've now entered into a new relationship".
How well I still recall those words spoken to me,
Bereft of the courtesy of a personal meeting,
A cold farewell delivered by the telephone,
A blunt farewell in iambic hexamaters,
But no less crushing to my shocked heart for all that.

But now, so many years have passed, it's hard to tell
The hora incognita when discarded love
Turned into something else, first half-indifference,
Then later, much later, to unrelenting hate.
And, looking back on apparently happy years,
Memories crumble into dust and recrimination.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

you portray the death of a long term relationship incredibly well...the pain is palpable! well done!

always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Hello, Edna,
Very cold, painful and bitter - very perfect poetry for such an experience. Great question: at what hour, at what point does it all turn and become apparent as something other than love? That seems to be the monumental moment.
Thank you,
L

on both ends of this emotional roller-coaster. It doesn't get any better when you have delivered the news yourself. Oh yeah, in the beginning, you feel relieved that you have made the break, but years later, you wonder; especially after you have endured the same. [Maybe even at the hands of said new love]. Excellent job of pulling the reader in and keeping their attention. I really liked the the lines: "And looking back on apparently happy years
. Memories crumble into dust and recrimination"
It seems that we are always the last to know, huh? ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Edna,

Your title is really engaging. I also think your final line is strong. I have seen this play out more than once and I feel sad every time.

raffy

...for your kind comments.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

...that I just discovered that the person who ditched me many years ago died a few weeks ago.
So the hatred was pointless.

.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

Ah, Edna,
Except in great poetry, I cannot think of another place where hatred has any point at all.
L

is pointless in any case. But, I understand that it happens regardless. So, now that the other person has departed, you have peace? I kind of doubt it, now you're probably pissed that you didn't get to tell them how pissed you are. I have been fortunate, in that the ones that I have dumped have already gone on ahead. I sure hope that if there is in fact an afterlife, that I don't have to meet up with them, it might be kind of awkward. ~ Geez

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.