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High Or Low Lay Below (Aubade)

Day is a lovely lady high heels
night is a real horse trainer
like a darker lower level one

lady high heels
night is a horse
trainer could be

day meets night
for far longer hours
twilight to duskiness

dusk to dawn time is insufficient
enabling speedier happenings
awaiting arrival of new new born

Adorn darkness of night
perhaps the moon
makes us feel bright
candles one lights
throughout wonderful
darkened chilly night
making memorable
life long serenaded delight
feel my ecstasy you might
radiant ladies needing love

Ah satisfying delight

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

this aubade, with the typical Lovedly twist, actually appeals to me (may the muses forgive me, lol)/ I endorse your write! Jerry

Now, that is a thing to ponder. I applaud your efforts, Lovedly. You can take something as old as an Aubade or Serenade and make it as something unheard of before. Congratulations. ~ Geez.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

and neo
for teaching me twisting
I knew salsa
only

author comment

Hi lovedly, what a musical aubade. You're composing sonnets as well. This is so romantic, full of bright imagery. I think perhaps the title could be shorter, tho' High or Low would sound as if you're "high"...lol.
I'll pesker you with the tweaks you must be tired of. I only did the last strophe, so as not to exaggerate, especially as it might interfere with the meter. Bring on more, Gracy

Adorn darkness of night
perhaps the moon
makes us feel bright
candles one lights
throughout wonderful
darkened chilly night
making memorable
life long serenaded delight
feel my ecstasy you might
ladies needing love
Ah satisfying delight

*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

you are that source of light for me
who replaces the light of the sun
absent at the darkest of night

Ah what a delight
wish you shear off the first half also

Then twill match like the moon
and swarms darkest night

author comment
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