Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Egg Yolk In A Comet’s Tail

It is I, who stays awake all night
Mind going round
On its very own carousel of madness
That never seems to quiet down

Tomorrow I shall take
My final bow
In the Piazza Grande

Where I have presented my musings
Upon the unsuspecting public
People, just going about their business
And everyday lives

The Piazza Grande,
Where the Arches are bold
And the cobbled paving’s
Have silent history of every Man
Who has stood to look up at the stars

I always put on a different show
I always have a place to go inside my mind

And the crowd loves whatever I do
Even though I don’t know why?
Which is the best part of being
Who I am

Knowing that even one stranger
Can feel my presence and acknowledge my existence
Therefore, I'm alive

I shall take my bow and say thanks
To everyone, who has stopped to listen
Each person who has smiled with my words
And laughed out loud
Now I'm off to a smaller Square

Where time is waiting for me to share
Once again
Words, oh words what words so grand?

But as my lungs fill the stage
For my last performance
Yours find it hard to breathe
As you are sorry that I have to leave

Goodbye Piazza Grande
Amore mio

I hope to see you again, one day
If not, then I shall die within our memories
And ride on the tail of the comet
That will pass by the stars
Into nothingness.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Thanks so much Eumolpus for this Fabulous title! Piazza Grande translated to (Big square).
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

trying to fix an image in my mind; of artists of all kinds and especially poets and actors, using the Piazza Grande for shows and exhibtions. I can hear the echos of speeches and short plays rebounding from the wa;lls and the polite applause, hushed as if not to be too loud and give offense. That is the image I get anyway. Thank you.~ Geez.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

Thank you, that's all I wanted. I've seen many Street artists throughout my life in many places and they always surprise me
With their many talents. This year it's not the same walking through a piazza Grande or a large square.
Thanks for you words Geezer.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Humbled to see you sir. You are correct I mean that my mind never rests I used quiet I shall look over it. It's a brand new poem and maybe I'm a bit out of my comfort zone I will come back to it of course
Thank you for your valued thoughts

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

yes those were typos that i just couldn't see by myself. thanks so much, i also agree with the s on the end of love so thanks again.
i also agree that Piazza Grande may well send some unwanting to google so i have left the translation underneath.
I like it much better now with your help. Greatly appreciated.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Hi Teddy, your imagery and originality are excellent. The title is fine and so is the content. I feel as if I'm there, among the crowd.
Not to bore you, I think your verses need tweaking quite a lot...lol.
Otherwise, excellent. Best, Gracy

*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Thank you for your very kind encouragement, as this is brand new, I shall tweak it up for sure. gracy you never bore me with your reviews

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Thank you for your very kind encouragement, as this is brand new, I shall tweak it up for sure. gracy you never bore me with your reviews

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

how surprising and delightful that you took that suggestion, just popped in my mind. I've been translating a book by Paul Eluard, French surrealist poet. You poem felt very Dada...

This new poem is so different, and I really like it. It is fun, has pace, builds to a conclusion. a few suggestions.

I have been to Piazza Grande in Tuscany, and am familiar with Italian pop and the song by Lucio Dalla by that name. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxw4PnYWTSg. (he was great!) But that Piazza could be anywhere similar in the world, as the poem is written. Here the place is really from your imagination, a great devise, and your strange relationship to with it. The Piazza is more a metaphor for where your muse takes you. That even if one person can share your vision it is worth everything,

I Think this stanza is too much it's own poem in a way. A poet struggling to have some rest from it, from the constant flow of images... I don't think you need it.

Once again

Words, oh words what words so grand?
I wish they would stop, these words
Just long enough for me to have a small rest

Also I think the last line, that ever important last line, needs a little more punch, it's a bit bland. "See you in my dreams"... Very often in this kind of dream poem the last line can be part of the dream, too. I've recently had some fun reading the top 100 most published and read poems by contemporary poets from a list. So many of these poems had that devise, that last line which comes across like the poem just threw a bucket of water at me. Just for an idea,

Goodbye Piazza Grande
I stay awake at night and wait for sleep
to tear my words apart

feel what I mean? something with teeth. Because there is a growing nostalgia in the poem, for something to happen other than a quiet exit from this place...

Hope that makes sense.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

What a kind and wonderful review, yes I was thinking at the very least the end needs some punch, but my thoughts were this year there are no street performers and the Piazza's are very sad because of fear and lack of tourism, that's why this performer goes to a smaller (home) piazza, but is unsure of even if he will perform again like before. I agree with the stanza you have chosen (maybe I milked it too much) lol. I walk through the Piazza's in Florence everyday wondering if there will ever be life again? So wonderful and much to think about so if you have any suggestions for the last line in keeping with my theme I'm all ears. Thank you again for this title and your graceful words.

Ps. That song is where my inspiration came, i was listening to his album in the car, this song is truly beautiful, he died quite sadly apparently in his bed of a heart attack. he was one of the greatest italian artists and brought a class to italian music, that is truly special, even as i myself listen and understand the words, i feel very very privileged.
i have done another small edit. Thanks so much once again.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

i have been working on a more dramatic finish which goes like this

Amore Mio, goodbye
I hope to see you again one day
If not, then I shall die within our memories
Where we met amongst the white crisp table clothes
and laughter as we joined hands
to share both our talents.

or

Amore Mio, goodbye
I hope to see you again one day
If not, then I shall die within our memories
And ride on the tail of the comet that will pass by the stars
Into nothingness.

i think i like the second one better???

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

I loved that first stanza and the title drew me right in
but as I read your poem seemed to ramble and lose the strength of the first stanza
there are more descriptive words than grand I know it was the name of the place howeveryou used the word grand twice again

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)
join us for chat every [email protected];30 pm est

lol I guess you could understand this is the ramblings of a street artist probably one who uses words
I agree with your thoughts on grand I must have eaten that word. I have taken it away, as you pointed it out I realised it was redundant. Thank you so much for your valued review. I think I will work on the ending but as it's a brand new poem I shall think on this.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

I am glad this has come back on stream which is why I could read it and understand your versatility and appreciate it...

pleasure to read and learn ...

raj (sublime_ocean)

It's a new poem it's been here since yesterday evening my time. Thank you for your kind words

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Oh sorry....i stand corrected..i now see it's dtd. 1st august...may be I wasn't wearing my reading glasses...:)

have a good day...

raj (sublime_ocean)

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.