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Solitary moments
See the lonely cabin
nestled in the woods
there by the swollen stream
Natures hand touches all
and scents the air with memory
but the cabin waits for the touch of a human hand
The glow of a fire
in the crisp night air
where is the dog curled up in the front
dreaming of it's next hunt
Sounds are missing
the laughter of lovers
ringing clear
The aroma of hot chocolate and fresh baked bread
yest there is hope
that it will live again
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Breakinglogic
Wed, 2020-07-29 19:06
an argument could be made
an argument could be made that a cabin built in a wood serves both the purposes of allowing a family to be close to nature while also offering shelter from it. I like that your poem shows this cabin as having a human bias instead of necessarily mediating between nature and man. This has reminded me of Howl's Moving Castle, where Calcifer (a fire demon who possesses Howl's heart) keeps his castle "alive"
enjoyed!
☆ raffy
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2020-07-29 22:16
thank you
for seeing it as it was written I appreciate that
Chrys
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Lavender
Wed, 2020-07-29 19:17
Solitary Moments
Hi, Chrys,
After reading a few times, I realized, for me, it was not an onlooker but, the house actually having a solitary moment - as if it is contemplating and waiting for that human touch. Stirring thought.
Thank you!
L
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2020-07-29 22:17
lavender
perhaps the cabin is a metaphor lol give that one some thought
but yes I gave it a human quality
Chrys
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Geezer
Wed, 2020-07-29 22:24
I saw...
the influence of several other works in this. I was delighted at the way they were blended together to create a "living" cabin.
This is the way that a "poet" works, they take the world around them and meld it into their own. Nice. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
c lynn brooks
Thu, 2020-07-30 06:00
Gee
Thank you so much for those words other works ? we will have to discuss this sometime I guess I did this unknowingly
Chrys
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Geezer
Thu, 2020-07-30 08:59
I'm sure
it was unknowingly. Sometimes, I do it knowingly, but many times, I find elements of others work that have inspired me without knowing. Nothing wrong with letting another influence you, as long as it isn't plagarism. Still nice work. ~ Gee.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
c lynn brooks
Thu, 2020-07-30 15:17
Gee
awwww thank you my friend
Chrys
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raj
Thu, 2020-07-30 02:33
Solitary Moments
Chrys, could feel the sense of solitude in a well crafted poem...may be the cabin personifies it ..
liked it...
raj (sublime_ocean)
c lynn brooks
Thu, 2020-07-30 06:01
Raj
thanks for the kind words my friend
Chrys
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c lynn brooks
Thu, 2020-07-30 06:02
Teddy
thanks for the encouragement your kind words bring
Chrys
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