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Africa, Wake up

Now wake up Africa.
There is more outside the stomach
There is a rising sun in the east
If only you could see, if only you could feel
If only you could fight and give your life for it.

Wake up, Africa
You’ve turned into a goat overnight
And your yam barns you’ve eaten up
your pride, your dignity all for a plate of food
oh Africa.

Wake up Africa
We have what it takes
We keep begging for water where there is a river
Light where there is sun
Starvation in the land of plenty.

Stand up Africa and think,
Think for the coming generation,
think beyond cars, houses and polygamy
Think beyond tribalism
Beyond religion, all are criminals.

Wake up Africa
There is more in our future
There is hope
We have not lost the battle.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
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Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello Chiori, sorry, I just saw your remarkable poem. It's so powerful and up to date that you leave me speechless. I'd say prune out some extra words, but otherwise the title, contents, spacing and all else is perfect.
Your poem is like a hymn for freedom. I hesitate to help you with a little tweaking, but if you wish, I'll return to suggest some small changes.
All the best during these difficult times, Gracy
PS: I live in Argentine Patagonia. The indigenous people in my country are all fighting for more freedom. They've achieved a lot, such as flying their own flag, having parlaments for their own communities, plus their languages taught in local schools. A woman is the leader of an international group of indigenous peoples from many parts of the world.

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

ok Gracy

always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing

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