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A Simple man

Submitted by Edward nigma on Wed, 2020-07-22 18:20

I look through my window and see a man a seem to be simple man .
his surface slim and tall I see him as he stands and stares at myself.
he seemed to be an every man but I soon saw his eyes.
Two simple Lines in his eyes start circling spiraling deep into
his mind and splitting the man’s humane mind of humanity into
a laughing cackling monstrous maniacal macabre
Mind Of mass hysteria.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I wrote this when I write now am in the hospital there letting me out tomorrow morning for why I write is to record my voice to have a mind in this world of madness i love to write if there was no writing there will be no longing for life no love to hold softly in your arms while reciting the illustrious works of Shakespeare And the truly mesmerizing work of Oscar Wilde. I do this so I can have a part of me forever on this earth after my humanity and existence is no more. So I can give other people ideas to give other people a loving for writing.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Gracy

Thu, 2020-07-23 10:06

Gracy's picture
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Hi Edward, I don't think I've read your work before. Interesting prose, I'm glad you'll be out of hospital tomorrow. Good idea to write down your thoughts, make others think and perhaps better this mad world. The title is fine as well as the content. Maybe you could add some poetical imagery, but it's OK.
All the best, Gracy

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