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#Palestine
"On the other side
of the river
the grass is greener."
I wonder though,
the cattle are less happy,
and so is the sky.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
I just wonder how much my reader could get out of this without me explaining. I think the title might give a hint as titles should.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rula
Sat, 2020-06-27 10:03
Dear teddy
I'll keep the grey color in mind for a more dark mood.
Thank you!
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Rula
Sat, 2020-06-27 10:24
The cattle...
Perhaps should be the herd? I wanted the people who live there under the occupation.
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Rula
Sat, 2020-06-27 10:32
Both
The sky and the people are under occupation, so sadness is the general mood there.
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Rula
Sat, 2020-06-27 12:00
In this case
I think changing to gray is more accurate I believe.
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Rula
Sun, 2020-06-28 16:13
I like
the play of words, but then I fear that the reader would think it a typo.
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Rula
Fri, 2020-06-26 04:25
Dearest Teddy
Knowing that I live in Jordan (on the other side of Jordan river) does that help understanding in any way?
You are not far though.
Thanks for your everlasting encouraging words dear.
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Rula
Fri, 2020-06-26 16:35
Dear Teddy
Jordan is well known for the best olive trees and olive oil, so you're totally right dear Teddy but this is just part of the story.
I thank you truely.
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Rula
Sat, 2020-06-27 09:45
Italy too
Is well known for olives.. I believe!
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Geezer
Fri, 2020-06-26 13:27
I am...
thinking, that you have seen the cattle on the 'other side' and don't think that the grass is any greener or the sky any bluer. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Rula
Fri, 2020-06-26 16:50
Dear Geezer
Things to admit,
First, this little piece is born as a result of the title workshop. I found out that titles could inspire real poems.
Second, Jordan and Palestine were one land with only river Jordan to separate them, but the fact that Palestine is greener is true, it's soil is more fertile.
Third, the cattle here represnts the people of Palestine,
and they're unhappy as well as the sky all because of the occupation.
Hope I make it clearer.
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Geezer
Sat, 2020-06-27 08:40
I did not...
know that in fact, Palestine is greener! That notion did not even enter into my mind. Yes, it is clearer now. Thank you, ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lovedly
Fri, 2020-06-26 18:14
my comment flew with
the flu lol
Rula
Mon, 2020-06-29 12:26
Flue... Flew
Why?
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Rula
Mon, 2020-06-29 12:27
Does
Not blue or less blue work better?
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Rula
Mon, 2020-06-29 12:39
Yeah
I think this clears the confusion dear Teddy!
Can't thank you enough for keeping me on the right track!
Appreciate your help dear.
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Rula
Mon, 2020-06-29 12:40
Sorry
for the echooooo
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Edna Sweetlove
Mon, 2020-07-06 14:37
It is sad that...
...Palestine is denied statehood and decency by the Israelites and their American stooges.
.
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars
Rula
Wed, 2020-07-08 16:49
Edna!
Never enough to feel sorry.
Palestinian never stop fighting for their freedom.
Thank you for reading and the sympathy though.
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Edna Sweetlove
Wed, 2020-07-08 20:12
The Israelites...
...need a good THRASHING.
.
xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars
raj
Tue, 2020-07-07 12:26
Hi Rula
Liked thee verses...
be well...take best care...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Wed, 2020-07-08 16:50
Dear Raj
Thank you! I am so happy to see you on my page.
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