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Walk (Inspired by T.S. Eliot, The Wasteland)
Let us walk, hand in hand,
when shadows
stretch across the land,
like a black cat
waking from its lethargy.
Let us walk
along soothing paths
of Night,
who lays her cool lips
on our scars.
Night saturated with silences
without veil or falsehood:
I divine white roses
on the certain pinewood,
I foresee the fistful of earth,
I know the limit
that dusk intimates.
Let us walk: night is soon.
For a few instants
reality will be dissolved
under the tepid providence of the moon.
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rula
Fri, 2020-06-19 18:01
Aweee!
Marvelous with exquisite, classy imagery.
Kodous!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Gracy
Fri, 2020-06-19 22:15
Well, thank you Rula. I was
Well, thank you Rula. I was re-reading Eliot and was inspired by a section in Wasteland that has similar structure.
All the best, thanks, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
Gracy
Fri, 2020-06-19 22:17
Always the gentleman, Sir
Always the gentleman, Sir Jerry! Thank you for your gallant comments, much appreciated, m'Lord.
Best to you and Lynda, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
Geezer
Sat, 2020-06-20 10:12
The first...
stanza makes the scene and sets the tone for the whole poem. Wow! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Gracy
Sat, 2020-06-20 12:05
Thank you, Gee, always
Thank you, Gee, always encouraging fellow poets. Will there be a chat tonight? We have Eastern time, you?
Look forward to chatting, if it's today. Raining cats and dogs for 2 days running. Yesterday we walked out in the mud when it cleared for about an hour. Hope it will happen today. I love snow, but rain gets me down.
All the best.
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
Gracy
Sun, 2020-06-21 14:41
Hello Teddy, so glad you like
Hello Teddy, so glad you like my poem, especially the first line. I'll look up the line that I borrowed from Eliot, can't remember exactly. I just wrote from memory.
All the best, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
Gracy
Sun, 2020-06-21 14:45
Hello again, Teddy, the lines
Hello again, Teddy, the lines below are the ones that inspired me. I always loved Eliot and this is from The Love Song of Alfred J.Prufrock. Have you read it?
Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Glad I found it.
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury