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Daddy's Girl

Pink hands, little feet
small package in the
midst of chaos, adult
hands convey violence
inculpable vessel corrupt.

Who gave the right?
Certainly not I, a
Silent witness to
demoralization, never
tell, never hear, never see!

I do not want to recall
unwelcome hands smacking,
shoving, probing, and poking
thrusting myself inward
I forget to remember ...

remember him, what he despoiled
and the ugly hag who cajoled
and fervently endorsed vile
behavior, a coward and tyrant in
her own right.

Solace comes in the knowledge
of that which will rain down upon
such ignorant heads as these,
I am the wielder now, the giver
of oblivion.

Unto such shallow bags of bone my
fire incinerates eternal, nothing forgiven
nothing forgotten, wicked shall fall as
defecation descends from rotted bowels.
All is aligned.

Copyright©2010Kristina Russell
July

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Last few words: 
glad to be back
Editing stage: 

Comments

good to see you again ...will get back to this one in leisure...

much love..

raj (sublime_ocean)

hi raj i hope you are well. i missed you and your work. so good to read you again my friend. talk to you soon. love love love katplath

mistress obi wan (katplath)

author comment

i agree, to be in a place to lift your friends when they are about to fall is beautiful. if i or even we as a community can help heal others through our words then that is the best gift of all. love and blessings to you, katplath kristina russell

mistress obi wan (katplath)

author comment

Seems I've read this before ?..................scribbler

all my old stuff was lost in the crash, luckily i saved it in docs so i'm just trying to rebuild my profile. have some new stuff as well will probably submit today. glad to read you again regards katplath

mistress obi wan (katplath)

author comment

I also post some stuff from the old site. Just glad to know my mind isn't playing tricks on me lol............scribbler

this is a new poem, you've never read it before and these are not the droids you're looking for. LOL katplath

mistress obi wan (katplath)

author comment

(In machine-like monotone)...These... are... not... the... droids... we... are ...looking... for...

===============================================================

That having been said, this poem WAS, in fact, new for me.

And quite a powerfully written piece.

I read a deeply troubled childhood and a cathartic vision of payback in this...

The ending for me was particularly powerful... and yet sad.... that parents could have been so vile as to leave a child feeling only hatred. The term "Bags of bone" seems to imply that they are old now.... and yet the child they have hurt hates them so much still that he/she would say:

"I am the wielder now, the giver of oblivion.
Unto such shallow bags of bone my
fire incinerates eternal, nothing forgiven
nothing forgotten, wicked shall fall as
defecation descends from rotted bowels.
All is aligned."

For me, a well written but DEEPLY disturbing poem

Psyve

Psyve, thank you so much for getting what i was trying to convey in this piece. I'm never sure if it's to much and i was scared initially to submit it because of the subject matter as well as the way it came across. i really love the mistress obi wan and think i shall take it on as a user name if you don't mind. new site new user name. thank you again and i look forward to reading your work as well and your pic is nice it conveys love. Sincerely, Mistress Obi Wan formerly katplath

mistress obi wan (katplath)

author comment

HI,

Very powerful and emotional, great stuff.

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Hi Lou, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. Good to see you hear and look forwarding to reading your works.

mistress obi wan (katplath)

author comment

This is a poem of great intensity, especially the last paragraph. I wonder, however, that the 2nd last line is somewhat inappropriate for a poem of this caliber....

For me the crux would be:

Unto such shallow bags of bone my
fire incinerates eternal, nothing forgiven
nothing forgotten, wicked shall fall (like defecation)
from rotted bowels.
All is aligned.

(defecation is understood and spelling it out somehow dirties this brilliant end "All is aligned."

~A

Thank you Kailashana (beautiful name), for reading and regarding my poem so highly. I do agree with your opinion and think at some point I will revise, however the reason I left that line is because these people are like shit to me and even though rotted bowels pretty much covers the thought having put (like defecation) made me feel purged of the extreme foulness I feel internally. Thank you again and I look forward to reading some of your works as well. Regards,

mistress obi wan (katplath)

author comment
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