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My calm is like the calm before the storm

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Wed, 2011-02-09 02:06

My calm is like the calm before the storm
Instead of anxiously bracing up for the mourn
There is no storm for me weather
Regurgitated debris ended my tether

My content is nothing grand
It’s just the way I take my stand
To endure the fiery test
Burning in my very chest

I shed not a tear
About the things I hear
The unthinkable is upon me
So there’s no need to beg or plea

Because my calm is like the calm before the storm
Instead of anxiously tearing up for the mourn
There’s no storm for me weather
Regurgitated debris ended my tether

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Trouble is at every turn waiting to pounce on you
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Candlewitch

Wed, 2011-02-09 10:41

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It is so good to see you again! My favorite lines are:

My content is nothing grand
It’s just the way I take my stand
To endure the fiery test
Burning my very chest

very well done as it captures the feeling of pride in oneself. I have no suggestions, just appreciation for this piece.

always, Cat

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Barbara Writes

Fri, 2011-02-11 01:56

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Nice to see you here. I am glad you appreciated so much. As my heart aches i write this piece.
thanks for the kind thoughts.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

Race_9togo

Thu, 2011-02-10 00:53

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Good to read you again,
and this is very good, filled with that patient resilience so many have displayed in the face of recent disasters, natural and economic . I particularly like the calm before the storm reference, with it's tacit implication that behind the calm rage can be found, if it's needed.
I really like the end/beginning, the way it re-inforces the message, and after reading it three or four times I realize that its actually quite a short little poem, and yet it's packed with so much meaning, meaning that keeps growing with each read.

Most very well done.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Barbara Writes

Fri, 2011-02-11 02:02

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Thanks for your generous detailed thoughts. I really appreciate the way you expressed your appreciation for my poem. Not knowing what I am facing as I write this comment you really got the point I was describing in the poem. Thanks for commenting and sharing your critique.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

Barbara Writes

Fri, 2011-03-04 23:41

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thanks for commenting. I like your snail interpretation though I didn't think of it that way. glad to read what you see in this piece. the ending has yet to be determined, written from and true ongoing experience i am enduring. At this point I can only hope for the ending you wish for. what ever the ending I will revised this. but it is a while in the making before an end comes.

I guess I am like a snail that emerges from my shell because I am not dealing with this situation very well and keep ducking back from the full sting of reality.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment
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