Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Pandora's Box

One day fat old Mr Knox
Sunbathed on some Grecian rocks;
Pandora swam by, nude,
Which was rather rude:
So he photographed her box.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

1] So he shot Pandora's box
2] So he photographed her box
3] He photoed Pandora's box
4] Rather than use rude, I would say lewd
I know photoed isn't a word, but people will know what you mean right away.
~ Geezer.
.

Come to Chat on the Darkside
every other Saturday night 8pm to ?
Bring your dark and delicious work
to show.

Thank you fore your comments. Nos 1 & 2 I shall adopt and have amended the rest of the text accordingly. I have moved the "edit" stage accordingly!
..

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

I wonder what that photo would reveal?
A flash of light?
A deep dark hole?
Perhaps a cute little mole?
Or just another bush!
Ha! always making me smile, Edna.
Thanks,

~Mark~
To comment is necessary.
To acknowledge a comment is a compliment.

Live Chat is open 24/7,
come in, mix and mingle often!

..cavern?
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

Yes..

~Mark~
To comment is necessary.
To acknowledge a comment is a compliment.

Live Chat is open 24/7,
come in, mix and mingle often!

Why take a picture of some old wooden box? he asks with wide eyed innocence? In line 2 try replacing on with upon.Line 3 try pale and nude. Just some thoughts

Maybe he was into wood...

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

or had it

Very good, Edna, I only think you should change to the lewd word, as somebody else already said. A good laugh, tx!

Gracy

...not convinced unless someone can say why "lewd" is better - yes, it rhymes better with "nude". But the rude meaning is preferable - but I am ready to be persuaded.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

see you using the word rude as it should be used. rude: crude, gross, gruff, harsh, rough, coarse, rugged, boorish, uncivil, uncouth, impolite, insolent. After all, he was photographing her and he didn't seem to be offended. Lewd suggests that although it may not be proper, it wasn't anything but, titillating. ~ Geezer.
.

Come to Chat on the Darkside
every other Saturday night 8pm to ?
Bring your dark and delicious work
to show.

...In Britain we often use "rude" in a slightly different way: in the sense of "naughty"/"cheeky"/"impudent".
Also I use "lewd" to mean "disgracefully and openly sexual".
e.g.
"The perverted exhibitionist made several lewd, thrusting movements with his pelvis, which Little Emma thought was a little bit rude, so she kicked him in the goolies."
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

got it. ~ Geezer.
.

Come to Chat on the Darkside
every other Saturday night 8pm to ?
Bring your dark and delicious work
to show.

What to do about such matters?

French fries were not made in France
They were made in Greece
Ha!
As if dialect and drawls weren't tough enough?
What about the slight differences in meanings of words based on the different cultures?
Fun fact:
Did you kn ow that the term "Blow Job" was coined in a little suburban town of Lowell called Westford.
The kid that began that infamous term later became a history teacher in that small town H.S.
That term caught on like wild fire ...go figure..
Submarine Races?
LOL we could go on (I could)

But to the point: seems we all have something to learn from each other in this world wide web (site).
Later,

~Mark~
To comment is necessary.
To acknowledge a comment is a compliment.

Live Chat is open 24/7,
come in, mix and mingle often!

I can't really accept the Greek claim.

Potatoes cut up into slices or other shapes and then fried in either oil or fat are pretty ubiquitous - it's the shape of the fried bits which differentiates..

In Britain and Ireland, the traditional "chip" is usually about 2-3 inches long and cut c.1/2" x 1/2". In fish and chip shops it's normally fried in cheap oil and is both soggy and horrible. In restaurants it might be fried in beef dripping and hand-cut, but more often still in oil. In Britain, the term "fried potatoes" would normally imply SLICED but not chipped potatoes,

In France, "pommes frites" are cut much narrower, maybe 1/4" x 1/4". It is this style of chip which is known as "French fries" by Americans I believe. In France and Belgium, pommes frites are always CRISP and DRY and never wet or soggy. A "friterie" is a mobile chip wagon which sells nothing but pommes frites! And in Belgium and Holland they are usually served with mayonnaise on top.

In Germany, the same style of French chips is known as "pommes" (pron. POM-mez). This is to differentiate them from traditional German fried potatoes which are usually fried together with either onions and/or bits of ham and are known as Bratkartoffeln.

In France and in more upmarket British restaurants, Bratkartoffeln (without the extra ham and with onions as an optional ingredient) are normally known as "pommes sautées".

I associate Greek potatoes more as sliced or chopped ones roasted or baked for a long time in olive oil. Yummy.

Edna loves a good chip.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.